a wedding band playing killing in the name of at a wedding but instead of saying killing in the name of they say Wayne and Linda in love

the double Big Mac I was eating in the car took most of the impact during the crash. Doc said two more bites taken out of it and I wouldn’t have made it

every other day there’s a new worlds hottest pepper. Unserious rating system. Will never be respected.

NEW @nafmcpodcast w/ TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 We have done something we never thought would be possible. Listen, subscribe, review and tell your friend(s) open.spotify.com/episode/2lS… podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcas…

Taking pieces of bread from the bag out of order forever throwing off the symmetry of the loaf

44 years old and never had good bbq. Soul shaking realization.

NEW @nafmcpodcast w/ JACOB’S LADDER We broke down each others butts and figure out if Tim Robbins is on fraud watch open.spotify.com/episode/5da… podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcas…

guy 0 for 13 on his last is it cake guesses: here’s my take

myself, The Kansas City diva and the lily of the west watched SLEEPY HOLLOW on @nafmcpodcast this weeK. Join us for some prime ricchi open.spotify.com/episode/3EZ… podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcas…

we lost our way when auto correct started capitalizing the word apple #brentthoughts

NEW @nafmcpodcast w/ WEAPONS we have a daytime Emmy winner? A battle between good and evil and a trip to honey cottage. open.spotify.com/episode/2Sr… podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcas…

my second last sentence on deathbed: the smoke and sound of sizzling fajitas. my last sentence on deathbed: work that into the funeral

losing blood and about to pass out but trying to delete ‘Kramer slide’ off my search history before anyone finds me

banana shouldn’t have a plural

more like Less Anderson. Nate and Kate try to get me to like Wes Anderson movies by watching The Life Aquatic on @nafmcpodcast open.spotify.com/episode/3zW… podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcas…

wife: I just think it’s odd that you take two kickboxing lessons and now really wanna go to the zoo

NEW @nafmcpodcast w/ DUNE 2 Are the Dune movies better than the Lord of the Rings movies?? Tell us why or why not open.spotify.com/episode/0um… podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcas…

[very calmly to 911 operator] dog ate a battery

mission impossible movies are good because you spend most of the movie saying this misson is impossible but then

friend who owns his own company: it’s just meetings meetings meetings. me who just emailed mini wheats: preaching to the choir

a coworker bumps into me and a picture of the grim reaper holding the ace of hearts falls to the floor then another coworker bumps into me and a folder labelled tattoo ideas falls to the floor