Crying, listening to Mumble Bull by @CBDBtweets WHERE WAS THE MULTIMILLION DOLLAR RECORD DEAL? THE WORLD WIDE STADIUM TOUR?? THEY WERE SO GOOD. SO GOOD.

Trying to imagine the ab strength required to stay attached to a tree using only ur feet while holding a baby

We need a phone that lets me browse the internet but doesn’t track my every move and thought. @nokia, make a new phone and say “We made a smart phone, but it’s dumb as a brick” and then like drop it off a building in the commercial…. You’d make millions.

They say the week start on Monday But the strong start on Sunday

This morning, my finance grabbed an old bottle of creamer out of the fridge, poured it into her coffee, and when lumpy chunks of creamer floated to the top of her mug, she goes “oh it’s ok. You just have to pick those pieces out!” How many other women are living like this?

Hi @TomCruise, More than anything in this world, I want to recreate the bridge scene from MI3. I want to scream “I know I know” as I slide behind an over turned 2004 Lincoln Navigator to retrieve a G36 from the trunk. Plz, will you help me make this happen? Yours, Matt

Pretty nice Saturday