Nancy E. Head

Walked into a commercial fitness gym yesterday to cancel an active membership. Me: “I’d like to cancel my membership, please.” Front desk: “Cancellations cannot be processed at the front counter. You have to submit a formal written request via certified USPS mail to our national corporate headquarters, or schedule an in-person exit interview with our General Manager.” Me: “Is the General Manager here?” Front desk: “He is on-site alternate Tuesdays between 1:00 PM and 2:30 PM by appointment only.” Me: “When I signed up eight months ago, I swiped my debit card on an iPad at this exact counter in under 45 seconds while drinking a pre-workout smoothie.” Front desk: “Company policy, sir.” I pulled out my phone, opened my mobile banking app, tapped my debit card settings, and marked the gym's monthly recurring charge as “Unauthorized Merchant Billing - Block All Future Transactions.” Me: “Looks like corporate will figure out my cancellation by the 1st.” If a business requires certified paper mail and an appointment to cancel a service you signed up for on a touchscreen, they aren't running a business they’re running a hostage operation.