… I don't know either.
( as much as it weighed on him , to admit it — he wasn't sure . It was something foreign , deep inside that brought him pause . )
( a sensation that he hadn't felt in too long . )
I can't take you with me when I go . You can't see it , what I do— when it happens . That's why … you stay here , and I leave .
( he grips the doorknob once more , a bit tighter this time . )
… don't open the door .
you don't mean that ,
( but he does . )
( he wants to kick the stupid door down , but he won't . there is a violent , disgusting urge to grab him by the throat , and keep him still . )
the last person he said it to , the sentiment died along with the light of her eyes , and the best version of himself … who he once was . )
I can't do this without you . I need you to help me … you know I have to leave .
I didn't-
( he doesn't finish ; the outburst caught him off guard , and his breath shortens momentarily at the thought that ⚹ this , something he didn't want to occur , is happening . )
Goddamn it .
C'mon , pup . Don't do this right now … you're bein' silly ,
( he's laughing it off a bit , pulling on the door handle again . nothing . so he grasps it , and shakes the door back and forth . )
( there's a tinge of surprise across his features , which morphs into a curdling anger . )
( the smidge of humanity left in him reigns said rage . he cannot allow himself to be blinded by generic hatred .
( leaning his head back against the couch's back —— he's glancing over toward Chen . )
( 💭 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨'𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨'𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨'𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨'𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧- )
( … then , silence . amidst his own head , the overwhelming give away to a quiet that is nearly oppressive in its nature . that is followed by him speaking up , finally , after a bit . )


