what am i omitting from my letter to S?
- that i may not care abt her
- that my motives are a lottle sinister (nonbenevolent)
by lying i erode the value of utterances.
what did i learn by hurting her? that my abstract notions of personhood, by not interacting with reality but rather my idea of it, i erect a barrier between me and other people. also sometimes i get caught up between my ideal and what is…
the reason why i write to you, is because i want to explore. this isn't all i feel about you.
i name my feelings towards you.
Connect to all the other stuff I feel around them: curiosity, tenderness, love. Move between ick & yum until both are available.
dont let anyone hurt me. if you choose not to, i will always completely respect and honour that decision.
where can i be vulnerable?
i will always remember the place, your bedroom, where i have soiled. you may be wondering why i'm telling you all this.
you told me that you didn't really mind and that you've heard worse, and that it was just my opinion.