𝕸𝖊𝖌 retweeted
Legit call from the school:
Principal: I just wanted to touch base with you. Your daughter was baiting seagulls into the playground with gummy worms and actually caught one; Like in her arms. It did bite her—not hard, but I needed to inform you that we filed an incident report
𝕸𝖊𝖌 retweeted
i don’t know who needs to hear this but you ARE a good driver. that curb DOESN’T belong there.
𝕸𝖊𝖌 retweeted
The Conservative Party is unfit to govern. 12 years of failure, 5 Prime Ministers, and working people paying the price. We need a General Election now.
𝕸𝖊𝖌 retweeted
BREAKING NEWS:
🚨 THE LETTUCE HAS OFFICIALLY OUTLASTED LIZ TRUSS AND WON 🚨
ALL HAIL THE LETTUCE.
🥗🥗🥗
Day seven: Which wet lettuce will last longer? nitter.gq/i/broadcasts/1YpKkgbop…
𝕸𝖊𝖌 retweeted
Things I’ve been told off by my parents for since coming home for Christmas (so far):
- Turning the taps off too quickly
- Flushing the toilet too hard
- Asking if the heating can be turned up
- Encouraging the cat
- Eating the “Christmas day cheese”
𝕸𝖊𝖌 retweeted
you are not a machine. you are more like a garden. you need different things on different days. a little sun today, a little less water tomorrow. you have fallow and fruitful seasons. it is not a design flaw. it is wiser than perpetual sameness. what does your garden need today?
𝕸𝖊𝖌 retweeted
If you’re worried about getting the AstraZeneca vaccine because 40 people out of 17m have reported a (most likely unrelated) clot 👉🏼 do not read the leaflet in a box of Paracetamol!
𝕸𝖊𝖌 retweeted
Kate Middleton is being abused on Twitter by the same people who call for the abuse of women to stop.
What am I missing 🤷♀️
𝕸𝖊𝖌 retweeted
Please spare a RT for all the mums who have left their families today to go and care for other people’s
#MothersDay
𝕸𝖊𝖌 retweeted
Man when you find out this "date" happened like 5-6 years ago and Piers Morgan has been married for over 10 years it takes the harassment to a whole new level
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𝕸𝖊𝖌 retweeted
It's always "why was she out alone at 9:30pm, and never "why was he out on the street planning to murder someone?"


































