What follows is an embarrassing story. What follows is a disgusting story. It's just one of many from sharing your life with dogs. Beaker, our golden, came to us in June during COVID. Our other dog, Bunsen, was never lonely, but he was alone. As everything was shut down, and we were both working from home, it was the perfect time to think about a second dog. Within a month a little golden retriever joined our family. Beaker was a whirling ball of energy. After having a couple shy days figuring out her new surroundings, she quickly realized that her new humans simply ADORED her and the giant bear who was her new dog companion wasn’t dangerous. In fact that giant bear dog thought she was the neatest thing on the planet. Quickly the big dog and little dog formed a bond. The big dog played with her, chased her, and put up with her nonsense. Luckily his fur provided some protection from the sharp puppy teeth, something not afforded to the humans of the household. The little shark followed the big dog everywhere and here in we get to the major embarrassing and disgusting story. We had been in the habit of letting the dogs frolic in the backyard and have fun. Bunsen doesn’t wander away and he was a really decent babysitter, keeping the little chaos wolf close to the humans. It was in this location that our family laughed until we cried watching the antics of Beaker sneak attacking Bunsen when he just wanted to relax in the shade. Whenever Bunsen moved, Beaker sprung up and followed the big guy. After a nap in the shade, Bunsen shook himself awake and padded off down to the grassline. I was lounging on this cool and comfy hammock thing Kris got me and I figured Bunsen was just going to do some exploring. Ever the shadow, the tiny puppy followed her giant big brother. Things happened so fast once both dogs reached the end of the cut grass. Looking back the only thing I was thinking about was, omg, how freaking cute are these two dogs together. Now I probably would have been more on the ball. Bunsen sniffed around, lifted his leg and began to pee. Did I mention Bunsen is a big dog? Big dogs have BIG poops and LONG pees. Some days I’m like, is Bunsen recreating the start of Austin Powers when they bring him out of being cryogenically frozen? Like a sprinkler stream on a hot day, Beaker jumped right into it. The world moved in slow motion. The curse of the comfy hammock was it was difficult to get up and out of quickly. As I floundered, Beaker stood within the shower of pee. It wouldn’t have mattered if I got out immediately though. Beaker was getting SOAKED. It wasn’t like a sprinkling soaked. I’m talking how wet a dog gets after swimming in lake soaked. If that lake was hot Bunsen urine sadly. To this day I don’t know WHY Beaker didn’t move out of the way of the stream. Perhaps it felt nice, a hot shower unexpectedly. The aftermath was disgusting. I scooped up the soaking wet piss dog and hauled her over to the hose. Being made of springs, chubby puppy fat, and coated in pee this was not an easy task. We all had an awful time as I hosed off the little puppy. By this point, Bunsen had slumped back down in the shade and went to sleep, obvlious to his part in this terrible development. Yes, we have made all the golden showers for the golden retriever jokes and puns, but feel free to leave some in the comments. If you have a dog they will do disgusting things. If you have a dog they get eat disgusting things. If you have two dogs, at some point or another, one of the dogs will pee on the other one. Most of your life with a dog is the best parts of life. The disgusting part will probably be the most disgusting parts so consider this story a warning.

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