Phan

We should rebrand bullying.

Hi I would like to come clean...in grade 6 I crossed steams with my friend Bill and I liked it. If you know where Billy the cutie is I would like to call him, so please let him know I still live here. Billy it is time to come home to me.

"Speed is waaaaay better than meth!"

"Awww, no one's fuckin' tonight." - Meagan Ritchie

Oh Yeah, I'm back on Twitter btw

Bitches ain't shit

I'm so fucking thankful I grew up with so many sisters. I can now see a single girl who's over a first date 4 bars away. #imback #imdrunk

Oh shit. The alcohol is telling me to tweet. #cheflife #84hours #cheffinafterdark

After 2 solid 60+ hr weeks, I'm left with less than $25. I've never felt so fucked in my entire life.

I wanna be like Robin Hood but not give to the poor and just keep it because I'm the poor one. Call me Lobster Hood. Because I'm shellfish.

The only great thing about today was finding out @pornhub is giving away free premium for V-Day. #beatitlikeitowesyoumoney

The more I drink, the more I hate everyone.

There needs to be an international database of douche bag haircuts. #itmakesyoumoreugly

Beards have become so shitty in the last year. #deepthoughtsbyphan

What kind of fucking hoodrat orders two shots of Goose then complains about the price?! #imback #cheflife

Sluts in bars are the complete opposite of needles in haystacks. #imback #imdrunk #cheflife #cheffinafterdark #cheffinainteasy

It's the Year of the Cock. Also it's Chinese New Years!! #gongheifatchoy

If you're ugly, just don't cry. #itmakesyoumoreugly

If I've never hit on you while I was drunk, there is something seriously wrong with you. #youmightbefat #youmightbeugly #youmightnotbeaslut