everything happens for a reason 🪡

i can hear party 4 u playing faintly in the distance… don’t piss me off

burning the midnight potatoes

the name’s balls. dickens balls

some real bottom of the barrel draft picks

earlier i texted my man a pic of the hostess honeybun donettes like HUGE NEWS and called him to ask what his favorite snacks were for research purposes and he picked up because he didn’t understand the aforementioned huge news was simply that there are hostess honeybun donettes.

finally

sky ferreira is younger and more beautiful

babe i’m not being mean to her out of jealousy over your prior relationship with her. it’s because i fundamentally don’t respect her and have had her muted/blpcked even before knowing of this because of my divine insight into future nuisances and internalized misogyny

2025 coke psychosis rebound bender made me lose my mind my job my memory my ability to love my ability to breathe quietly and most importantly my ass and tits 💔

my mane is longer and darker and fuller and shinier and cascades down my back more beautifully and lusciously than yours. and your bangs look uneven btw

i think all the time about how that wasian lady who built her following on french and italian “peasant food” cooked in ruffoni copper pivoted to this current influencer gig after a brief stint in the reseller business when her day job as a defense contractor wasn’t cutting it

the issue with kids these days is they’re not doing fun pranks like swirlies and stuff anymore. they’re doing wet willies in each other’s butts

i have it on good authority that palmer luckey is currently developing new atomic wedgie technology

a very chinese german time

got fixated on making schweinshaxe after seeing a video of its preparation during which i realized the skin crisping method is sort of similar to cantonese roast pork but with juniper berries 🐖 ill properly crackle it when i feel like eating more 蹄膀. Add white pepper too maybe

generally terrified of the prospect of losing yet another camera but glad i risked it for underworld !!! first pic is from when they did That Song :+)

choccy milk truther