Matt Neimark (@prejectedjokes) header
Matt Neimark (@prejectedjokes) profile picture

Totally normal guy. Why? What have you heard?

Joined March 2013
Photo by Matt Neimark (@prejectedjokes)Photo by Matt Neimark (@prejectedjokes)Photo by Matt Neimark (@prejectedjokes)Photo by Matt Neimark (@prejectedjokes)Photo by Matt Neimark (@prejectedjokes)Photo by Matt Neimark (@prejectedjokes)Photo by Matt Neimark (@prejectedjokes)Photo by Matt Neimark (@prejectedjokes)Photo by Matt Neimark (@prejectedjokes)Photo by Matt Neimark (@prejectedjokes)
Brooks Keopka leaving Tiger Woods alone with his girlfriend is the only bad decision he made all day. #PGAChamp
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I may be able to finally stop drinking bleach
Researchers in Spain developed a new intranasal COVID-19 vaccine that eliminates the virus in mice. One dose gave 60% protection, but two doses achieved 100% with no detectable virus in nasal or lung tissue, suggesting sterilizing immunity. Source: csic.es/es/actualidad-del-cs…
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I guess not that private though
Billionaire diamond trader, 65, dies during penis enlargement surgery at private Paris clinic dailym.ai/2TzTBzw
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Oceangate is already booking submersible tickets to visit the wreckage in 2050
The "Icon Of The Seas" sets sail in January 2024. 5610 passengers, 2350 crew members, 5 times larger and heavier than the Titanic, 19 floors with more than 40 bars, restaurants and bowling alleys. What a monstrosity!
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Goofy’s reign of terror is finally over
The U.S. Air Force conducted a flyover at Magic Kingdom today. This is the first pass, which included three F-35 stealth fighters and a KC-135 Stratotanker.
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Hate to report that today Kanye watched Jonah’s performance in “You People” and we’re right back where we started
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Would gladly trade this for the people who currently live in the apartment above me
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Soto is so bad at defense, I can’t believe he’s not a Phillie #NLCS
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Refuse to weigh in on this Lizzo controversy until I hear from the authority on what you can and cannot do with a flute
Me to one of the royal guards that never move after waiting 18 hours in line to see the queens body: “Do you validate parking?” #QueenElizabethIIMemorial
Say what you will, but ketchup on the walls is still a big improvement over Trump's usual interior design choices #TrumpTantrum #January6thCommiteeHearings
I know you're looking for a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve, but hear me out...
Man who grew penis on arm wants to date Kate Beckinsale trib.al/CTwnF3p
I'm not saying Justin Bieber is three kids sitting on each other's shoulders in a coat, but I'm also not saying he isn't #GRAMMYs
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Who ever is giving out the Best Actor award should wear a helmet just to be safe. #AcademyAward #Oscars
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They're rescinding honorary martial arts titles that the honoree in no way earned in the first place, so watch your back @sseagalofficial
In light of the ongoing war conflict in Ukraine, the International Judo Federation announces the suspension of Mr. Vladimir Putin’s status as Honorary President and Ambassador of the International Judo Federation. ijf.org/news/show/official-a…
I assume it was Suge Knight who was holding 50 Cent upside-down during the halftime show. #PepsiHalftime #SuperBowl
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I believe in the movie biz they that call a meet-cute
Police have arrested a Virginia man they say drunkenly crashed a car into Taylor Swift's New York City apartment building and tried to gain entry. apne.ws/HHow20N
Comey: Not so fast, look at Yakei's emails
Yakei, a female Japanese macaque in a nature reserve in southern Japan, violently overthrew the alpha male of her troop to become its first female leader in the reserve’s 70-year history. A messy love triangle could endanger her grip on power. nyti.ms/3FMeQ55
Never been happier that I don't have a doorstep