dani

love a good reason to dress up and look extra cute ✨

what base is watching election results together?

the is the first worldiest or first world problems but after three (glorious) months they finally fixed the gate to my community and it’s so annoying having to always scan in and get phone calls to let deliveries in

I would commit unspeakable acts for these shoes (london rag after pay high heel velvet knitted boot) in a size 10. please someone, anyone. tell me you have them and will sell them to me.

when I’m telling a story & people keep interrupting, I say “stop. let my finish.” or when they ask a question already answered I say “can you actually listen to me” and neither are said super polite but like jesus please just be quiet and listen if you ask me to tell a story

I am apparently the designated family birthday expert* because today my cousin texted me to ask his own sisters birthday (which is today) *I am actually really good at remembering birthdays so it makes sense but still lol

dog owners are weird because my dogs’ friend’s owner just asked me to look at her dog’s butthole and when I gave my opinion she said “I trust your dog butthole expertise, you have more experience than me” (true)

I know a lot of people think all young people are using AI for school so if you want to feel better my sisters (middle and high school) and their friends don’t use it and actively judge the kids that do, so there are some good ones still around!!

does a company ever make you so mad over a small issue that you’re like you know what me being a lifetime customer is actually over and I hate you. because that’s how I feel about @TMobile lying about a free doordash pass and then not honoring it. why would I keep using liars?

looking through pics I from the beach and one of them is such a poorly timed picture that it looks like I’m peeling because I’m like mid squat and there an unfortunately placed stream of water coming from my bikini, but it’s absolutely cracking me up

this isn’t too mean right? I mean I hate AI but this place is cool and I don’t wanna get blacklisted. …unfortunately I realized that like all their flyers are also AI so I doubt they’ll care

coworker asked me if I heard after Taylor swift’s new Samoyed… as someone who only has a Samoyed now because it was horrifically neglected, please please please let people do research before getting one because they’re trendy

idk maybe I’m spoiled at my current job but I’m looking at positions that sound like they do a whole lot more and none of them even break $70k. I saw one for $50k and literally laughed out loud. what are we doing.

what is gluck cutting

my goal when ever I go out is to make sure the server and/or bartender thinks I am an A+ customer. and if I’m not I shall pay in blood. (for my sins, not the food/drink, that is paid in real money with a minimum of 25% tip)

why do I live in Florida

my lease is up at the end of November so I got my renewal papers today. I was bracing for a major increase but there’s actually no increase? as long as I sign another 15 month lease in the next 14 days, but still I’m shocked there’s no increase

little sister (16) got her eyebrow pierced, and my job as a big sister to to clown her for it bc it’s ugly, while noting that it’s still her body so her choice, and reminding her to be thankful we have a mom who supports us expressing our individuality however we want

I said look at this weird looking banana to my coworkers and they said that’s a plantain and I said uhhh well [name of mythically old and wise man who brought them in] said bananas… they were dead set on it being a plantain. it was very much a banana. why and I always doubted???