permutation pretty (NYC)

Shinji isn't a pussy. His refusal to pilot has almost nothing to do with fear for his own safety. In fact he doesn't really value his own life and is willing to be suicidally reckless when he is piloting the robot, often to his benefit. I think it's in Episode 2 or 3 where he meets Toji and Kensuke at school and Toji is pissed off at him because during the fight with the Angel Shinji knocked over a building that injured Toji's sister, so they gotta have a school yard fight. Shinji gets it, like, oh, yeah I guess that is fucked up, I did do that, I do deserve that. But later in the episode when angels attack and Shinji's gotta be back in the robot that's getting him bullied in school, he spots Toji and Kensuke endangered by the Eva, compromises his own safety and operational capacity, saves them, and then absolutely fucking goes ham on the angel stabbing it like a thousand times until his batteries run out. Would a huge pussy do that? No. Toji finds this so admirable that he within a few episodes time completely forgives him, acknowledges it was even wrong to blame Shinji, and demands that Shinji punch HIM in the face so that they're square and they're friends for the rest of the series. This isn't a pussy bullying victim story, this is actually a normal story of masculine friendship where two guys get the measure of each other through conflict, recognize each other as bros, and bro on. Furthermore, Shinji's constant rebellions against NERV -- the VERY ACT of REFUSING to get in the fucking robot -- is an act of fucking courage. That's a fucking international paramilitary organization with nuclear capacity and black suited g-men with guns who assassinate people, and he's like, no, you know what, fuck you, I don't have to listen to you. If he was a meek little bitch, he'd just submit and do as he's told. When Gendo does the dummy plug bullshit his response is to directly attack the Geofront himself, stomping all over it, threatening to kill everyone until they force him to stand down by pressurizing his cockpit until he passes out. Gendo's a pretty scary guy. He's not just a regular dad who's gonna ground you for cussing at him. Rebellion against him isn't petty childhood tantruming. It's rebellion against a man you believe has absolutely no respect for you, who has never demonstrated any respect for you, who has been a stranger your whole life, who's also at the head of a world-historical conspiracy to liquidate mankind with enormous resources at his disposal. A pussy might meekly seek out his approval and do what he's told and get in the robot to avoid provoking wrath, rejection, disappointment, shame, etc. -- and sure Shinji isn't consistent, and yeah some of his shit is just throwing temper tantrums. And maybe he's scared of the girl's he's attracted to, ok, but like, what you're gonna blame him for thinking women are scary? Women are scary. Have you seen the news or the dating discourse lately? And like one's a fucking weird albino "..." ass clone of his fucking mom and the other one's an emotionally volatile tsundere who clearly enjoys humiliating him. Being scared of 'em is just rational. They're weirdos with fucked up personalities themselves. That's not even being a pussy. That's being prudent. Nah. I watched the whole fucking show man, I watched the movie, I watched em several times, and through it all I saw Shinji consistently performing acts of courage and heroism. Just because he was whiny about it and had some insecurities and trust issues with the people around him doesn't make him a pussy. If anything he's extremely rational for suspecting everyone's a phony with him. He's got way more valid reasons to suspect that than Holden Caulfield did. Nah. Shinji isn't a pussy. I don't understand how people watch him do all the crazy shit he does and think oh he's a pussy. A whiner, maybe. But a coward he is actually not. Though he is insecure about being a coward, clearly, he actually overcompensates for it through reckless stunts and willful resistance to authority. He killed angels and saved Tokyo-3 countless times is what he did. In this house Shinji Ikari is a hero and a patriot.

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