ranena

MY TAKE ON HAVING CHILDREN. One of the most important decisions you will ever make as an adult is choosing who to have children with. Do not just look at the person you are dating, their financial status, or how much you love each other. Look at the family ecosystem they come from. This applies equally to both the man’s family and the woman’s family. Look at their values, how they raise children, how they treat children who are not biologically related to them, how seriously they take education, whether they have a sense of responsibility and shame, and whether they understand that raising a child takes an entire community. Life is unpredictable. You could end up in prison, become seriously ill, lose your financial stability, separate from your partner, become incapacitated, or die while your children are still young. What happens to your children then? Who takes them in? Who ensures they remain in school? Who provides for them, guides them, protects them, and makes sure they do not become victims of circumstances they never created? This is why you should pay attention to the family your partner comes from. A strong family ecosystem does not necessarily mean a wealthy family. It means a family with values, a sense of responsibility, respect for education, a culture of nurturing children, and the willingness to step in when life becomes difficult. It means a family that does not abandon children because their parents are struggling, separated, incarcerated, sick, or dead. It means relatives who understand that children should not be punished for the circumstances of their parents. You are not simply choosing a partner when you decide to have children. You are choosing the people who may become your children’s support system when you are no longer able to fulfil your responsibilities. Love can be genuine, but love alone does not guarantee that your children will be safe, educated, supported, or emotionally nurtured when things fall apart. Have children with someone whose family values raising children, not just producing them. Choose a family where nurturing is a responsibility, education is a priority, accountability matters, and children are treated with dignity regardless of biological affiliation. Choose a family that understands that when one adult falls, the children should not have to fall with them. You cannot predict every hardship your children will face, and you cannot guarantee how every relative will behave. However, you can pay attention to the values, relationships, and family culture you are bringing your children into. Do not wait until you are absent to discover that the people you trusted have no intention of standing in your place. Having children is not just about bringing them into the world. It is about thinking seriously about who will help them survive, grow, and thrive when you can no longer be there for them. “AGETEREINE NIGO GAATA EIGUFA.” “OWASHWEERA ABUUZA” “OKWEGAATA GE MAANYI” “TWO HEADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE”