When did Jean-Ralphio Saperstein become the new spidermaaaahhahhnnn? @parksandrecnbc @rejectedjokes

Ain't no problem your Grandma can't fix

Thx @marcmaron for posting the @robinwilliams interview.Such a cathartic listen & that line about him setting up a home in your head?So True

Weird Al as Hitler on @drunkhistory ! This is quality programming. @YankovicAl

news.msn.com/pop-culture/lar… For one brief, hopeful moment, I thought this would be @StephenKing and @MorganFreeman__ in a boxing match

At first glance, I was thinking the guy from Tudors is @nickkroll. I need to see some kind of King Kroll sketch on Kroll show now. Kroll

"For suresies"? Is that really the phrase you want to end this conversation with?

@jaymohr37 @JaredLorenzen22 Hell ya, I love badminton!

#DepressingDisney Finding Nemo: Sushi Night

#DepressingDisney Monsters University: I never learned to read

Loop de loop you little child mark yourself a name,.crack yourself a beer, and find your dick a dame

She made Yoko Ono stubbing her toe sound like Regina Spektor having an orgasm Read more: cracked.com/blog/5-star-perf…

Unless otherwise noted, all new releases have been produced by @danauerbach

Dear honey & cinnamon, fuck off outta my whiskey!

Masturbating never gets easier to hide. Sorry, kids. #knockknock

I feel like @tavissmiley should have done the Donald Stirling interview.

"I'm on location" is my new favorite excuse..and it will never be true when I use it.

Awkward practice today- Calling and asking for people who are no longer with us...unknowingly

I feel so productive when I'm not drinking. I hate it.

A coin purse is a great way to show that you're tough, but also sensitive and frugal.