Sarah Reitz

Oh yeah I never told you guys this story of mine: I just had the most incredible, awe-inspiring, core-shaking experience yesterday. All I can really say is that our loved ones do not cease to exist. They still subsist past death, and they are part of God now too — reaching through time, space, people, books, poetry, and objects. All of it can be used. The night before last, I spent a long time editing a poem titled “God Is” until it felt perfect. The next day, I was experiencing being seen by that same force in such pointed, undeniable ways. Truly the most precious gift I could ever receive. It was exactly what I’d been aching for the most: that deep “I wish you could see me now.” I wrote a book. I got sober. I even have a garden now — just like you tried so hard to instill in me when I wasn’t ready yet. And then your son handed me a keychain. On the card it said “National Home Gardening Club” and underneath, “PREMIER LIFE MEMBER” — while I was standing in your house on National Ave. In the man cave, I opened the door and found some of my own writing you had saved from May 25, 2017. What stood out was your quote, commenting on me writing to myself: “What’re you having an epiphany over there?” When I wrote that, I wasn’t. But reading it now? Yes. I am having an epiphany. The greatest one I have ever had. I picked out a couple of books, glanced at them — some Socrates quotes and a book with the word “prophet” on it. I also found a hammock, which felt poignant because of the fond memories of chilling with Sullivan on your back porch while you took pictures of us. Then your son plucked a mirror off the wall and asked if I wanted it. Of course I did — it still has your little bat and moon stickers on it. Outside, there were cactus pieces propagating. I had been wondering if any of your plants survived so I could steward one. “Of course you can have one — take two.” I was thinking about the hammock and how I don’t have two trees close enough at my house to hang it like I did in your yard. Then your son casually mentioned, “Oh yeah, there’s this never-used hammock stand you can have — still in the bag.” Like you were fulfilling my needs in that very moment. On the ride home, “Shine” by Collective Soul came on. I started crying. It makes me think of you and my dad.The immense feeling of presence washed over me as I connected all the dots. I decided to look at that “prophet” book and did a little bibliomancy. I flipped to a random page and landed on this: “And Life is veiled and hidden, even as your greater self is hidden and veiled. Yet when Life speaks, all the winds become words: and when she speaks again, the smiles upon your lips and the tears in your eyes turn also into words. When she sings, the deaf hear and are held; and when she comes walking, the sightless behold her and are amazed and follow her in wonder and astonishment.” And he ceased from speaking, and a vast silence enfolded the people, and in the silence there was an unheard song, and they were comforted of their loneliness and their aching. And he left them straightaway and followed the path which led to his Garden, which was the Garden of his mother and his father, wherein they lay asleep, they and their forefathers. And there were those who would have followed after him, seeing that it was a home-coming, and he was left alone, for there was not one left of all his kin to spread the feast of welcome, after the manner of his people. But the captain of his ship counseled them saying: “Suffer him to go upon his way. For his bread is the bread of aloneness, and in his cup is the wine of remembrance, which he would drink alone.” As I read those last words about drinking the wine of remembrance alone, I was feeling that loneliness. I had been trying to explain this to my husband, but it can’t really be translated. This experience was for me, and me alone.

Hi to the coin people

Aggrandized View I use words Whose meaning I don’t quite posses And it bothers me To use the word I can’t define Though upon reflection And looking up definitions It was right to use The whole time It is perhaps in this way I hold my aggrandized view Of myself I trust that it’s right That my instinct is correct Sarah, our precious hero Lost in her predicaments Its easier to point at myself Outside of myself In writing In the third person I am much less Terrifying In the mirror of my words It’s never quite self directed Only reflections caught Then again refracted And now we’re in a hall Made of mirrors The poet reflects, Ironically Yet you still can’t make out The shape of me Besides someone Who hides behind Thought loops, grand ideas And countless rhymes

Rehab is for quitters

Hey Skeetskeetholla made a new song after five years : on.soundcloud.com/J0gxIasNOA…

The striking thing? The book is actually titled The Garden of the Prophet (three garden references now). And the passage mirrors the poem I had just worked so hard on the night before. When I re-read “God Is,” I realized it perfectly describes exactly what I had just experienced. God Is God is The whisper of the wind The thing that speaks Breathes and teaches me All I wish to understand Made wholly more aware Brought to my knees In the midst of the Goddess's throes Such willful ignorance Naive to the painful brink Met with frightful gravity I stumble, then surrender Perils have made their home Within my tattered spirit Oh champion of growth I wave goodbye to folly All friends surely fade Hello to someone new Someone who subdues My curious aching soul It happened for a moment Gone in the next breath That whisper of the wind A dawning of acceptance Presence breathed through air Realized through my mind's eye Baptized in transcendence We knew not what it meant To have gazed upon The face of God I stepped away more transfixed God is awareness that remains The shortened breath Between you and me Where God prefers to exist My dead best friend — God — Life — spoke to me yesterday. The most earth-shattering confirmation of love persisting after death. A precious gift I will never forget. I’m not sure what to do with this information yet, but the Garden of the Prophet said to turn the tears into words… so that’s what I intend to keep doing. GOD IS

I won an award today for being awesome at Dominos (pizza pimp)

New York City, where you must pay to pee

I just remembered when Elon Musk laughed at my comment on a post. It was a stupid joke lol

My toddler woke me up at 4:30am again and I can’t fall back asleep. Second night in a row and I work 13 hours today

hey God wanted me to tell you wassup

if you wanted to write then you would sometimes God tells us what we are going to be I think you know what you should do with your life by the time you are 8 years old never let money decide if your dreams should die

my husband finally got me to subscribe to Claude so I can parse through this treasure trove of daily notes (poetry) of which I completely forgot about. so look out for the next book, I expect it to be very different

God bless Ye

I would get out of LA if I were you. Hey maybe that’s why they burned all the homes so no one of influence would still be there for the false flag perhaps

Of course some big ass storm would hit the whole east coast as we travel home. All our flights are delayed lol. With our three year old

I am in Amarillo Texas of all places

War war war. Always with the war

Not all sprinkles are created equal

I forgot how to post I guess