i'm 36 & working on it.
Cincinnati, OH
Joined November 2009
- Tweets5.6K
- Following940
- Followers276
- Likes13.8K
can’t wait to see you next month in cincinnati at @BogartsShows, @xdannyxbrownx!! it’s been far too long.
i would HIGHLY suggest having @djboywife as your opener if your team is lookin’ 👀💖🔥
photos from forecastle 2016
“did you say that the sky is serving cunt? is that what you said?” “i said people are shooting guns”
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how people are reacting to sabrina carpenter’s album cover. #spinaltap #smelltheglove #mansbestfriend
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conan’s “i won’t waste time” oscar song is better than than all of the songs in “emilia pérez”
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i know this is late commentary, but in #challengers, i know without a doubt that the music was added post production because zendaya would absolutely have done the? "what?...oh." while dancing to "hot in herre".
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hot take (?) i am so tired of "nepo baby" being thrown around. i really don't care. i guess more specifically if i say "i really like PERSON" & your reply is "yea, but they're nepo baby" to ruin my joy, that is annoying.
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i found out yesterday that i do a really go jeff foxworthy impression. don't ask. this would have been a hit at parties 20 years ago. if i auditioned for SNL, i would do this impression and flea in the soundbooth doing the voice of donnie from the wild thornberries
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would be crazy if you could also see the $ amount paid on the venmo feed. i want to be able to know the people who NEVER forget. someone paying an amount so specific like $2.64. includes no emoji. you know there was an awkward convo over that amount to need it’s own transaction.
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to be fair, i’m on the side of the person asking for the money. i think they’re a real one that is actually making the effort to ensure there’s no unnecessary tension. literally get that IOU down to zero. i think people should keep the score on that. checks and balances, bestie.
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if i had expendable income, i think it would be so funny to get cameos for friends w/ people that they have no idea who the fuck they are, but act like i did a rsuper thoughtful thing. saying it now and ruining the prank because i know that i'll never have that kind of money.
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“i’m not mad at you. i’m mad at my own feelings in a stupid situation.” - #englishteacher this is hashtag ~relatable~ thanks for this, @brianjoralvarez
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the least useful thing you can tell a person who wakes up from a coma when they ask how long they were out without disclosing the year is to say “kenan thompson is still on snl”.
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absolutely hilarious how much my mom hates kevin costner. i’ve never heard her make such a certain statement like that about any other celebrity. if you say his name around her, she goes silent, eyes widen, she just slowly says “i HATE kevin costner.” no further discussion.
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