I post whatever I want to All glory to God ✝️ We win in the end.
United States
Joined July 2023
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Daily affirmations I tell myself:
- I am a creatine hyper responder
- I have elite genetics
- I am top 1% IQ globally
- People love talking with me
- Most people find me attractive
- People that don't are misguided
- I'm always winning
Feel free to use these. They work.
Ngl if I was a tech billionaire CEO and some hot Chinese bitch came up to me I'd immediately assume she's a spy and then I'm in full control
Her: "Babe can we talk about the new semiconductor deal you're making wth Taiwan? It sounds so interesting"
Me: "Yeah after you suck my dick."
she sucks my dick
Her: "Ok can you tell me now."
Me: "Nah I don't feel like it, let's watch some Youtube."
"I beat cancer!"
Whoa, slow down dude, what did the cancer do that was so wrong that you had to 'beat' it? You sound seriously unhinged right now.
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sensible poster ✨ retweeted
Was literally explaining the, "society falls when old men don't plant trees they will never sit under" to my neighbor (boomer)
He said he didn't get it and why would he plant trees if won't be around to see them
If the tip of a man's penis enters a woman and he immediately regrets it and she does not eject his penis before the regret happens, that's rape.
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As a man, I should be able to filter flights by "Male Pilot". Women can do it for their Ubers, it's only fair.
I'd bet money there were no ambulances available because the rest of them had some obese illegal immigrants who had the sniffles on board
My 18-year old was at a friend’s last night. One of the attendees (same age) was found in the bathroom on the floor, having a seizure.
My daughter yelled for someone to call 911, and they did. This is a small SW Ontario city.
More than HALF AN HOUR later, the 911 people called back and said there were no ambulance teams to send and asked if he was “still okay.”
“NO, HE IS STILL HAVING SEIZURES.”
The ambulance never came. The kids ended up calling the boy’s mom back and told her the ambulance wouldn’t come, so she came to the house and for him and drove him herself (from out of town).
What the fuck is happening.
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Don't forget the increased level of wifi signals passing through your brain
>2027
>wake up and go to bathroom
>Iran has hacked the smart toilet servers, cant flush
>wander to kitchen
>A North Korean cyberattack has taken my smart coffee machine offline
>”ok I’ll just boil water on the stove”
>smart sink bricked by Russian DDoS
>smart stove offline because I forgot to pay my stove subscription again
>fml
>”maybe a movie will distract me”
>try to turn on smart TV
>I’ve been banned from my smart remote bc it overheard me criticizing Israel
>mfw
