i feel safe here with nothing bc then i have nothing that can be taken away frm me anymore - im scared to do it all over again just to end up back here :(
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built my walls so high so no one can get in but now i cant get out either
i think i have to recover i guess i would rather try to recover then develop b.e.d i dont want to but it seems like the only option now
i'm going thru extreme hunger again and last time this happened i said i would rather die then experience it again and i rlly do wanna die now
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I have failed so much of my life I don't want to fail my eating disorder
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hate how all of my safe foods eventually turn into fear foods from overeating them at some point














