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The deepest ones came from those you call family. 😢

A lot of us parents spend so much time asking whether our children are intelligent enough to succeed that we forget to ask whether they are capable enough to function on their own. In many Nigerian homes, you see us celebrate the child who comes first in class and the one who gains early admission. We are quick to pay for extra lessons, buy the textbooks, and make enormous sacrifices to give them an academic advantage. It is understandable, because we want the very best for them. But how much time do we invest in teaching them the ordinary skills they will need for everyday life? Can your teenagers prepare a decent meal? Can they wash and iron their clothes, keep their room clean, and organise their belongings? Can they manage a small allowance without finishing it in two days? Can they speak respectfully to people, disagree without becoming abusive, and apologise when they are wrong? Can they keep a commitment and finish a task without being reminded or threatened? Can they make sensible decisions when you are not there to supervise? These questions might seem small to you, but they are part of raising functional human beings. I have watched young people leave home for university, especially those moving into hostels, and discover within weeks that they cannot cope with basic daily living. Some have never cooked anything beyond noodles. Some, as difficult as it is to believe, do not know how to wash their clothes properly. There are some who, even after 2 semesters in school, cannot stretch their money to the end of the month. They end up borrowing from their mates all the time. Then there are the ones who will call home just to get advice on how to settle a simple quarrel with a roommate over a bucket, an unwashed bathroom, or a missing item. It may sound funny, but it is real. The truth is that these young people are not incapable. We have simply done too much for them. In our effort to give our children a comfortable childhood, we have removed every opportunity for them to learn responsibility. Mummy cooks and clears the table, Daddy provides everything, the house help sweeps, washes, and irons, and there is always someone on hand to solve every problem. The child only has to read, pass exams, press their phone, and rest. Then almost overnight, we expect that same child to become a responsible adult. It does not work that way. Independence is not something children automatically acquire because they turn 18 or have secured admission. It is a capacity built over many years through practice, guidance, correction, and responsibility. So if your children are still young and you have not thought this far, now is a good time to let them join in the household chores. Teach your sons and your daughters to cook, clean, wash, and organise their lives, because these are life skills, not "girl things" or "house help things". Allow them to make decisions, face reasonable consequences, and work out solutions, even when you could solve the problem faster yourself. Academic excellence is wonderful, and I always celebrate it, but adulthood will demand far more than their grades. We are not raising children merely to pass examinations, graduate, get good jobs, and earn impressive salaries. We are raising people who will one day be somebody's colleague, spouse, parent, and employer. A child can graduate with a first-class degree and still struggle in ordinary human relationships. That is why the goal is not only to raise brilliant children, but also to raise competent, considerate, responsible, and emotionally mature adults. Measuring children only by how well they perform in examination halls is not enough. We should also pay attention to how well they can cope when life takes them outside the four walls of school and home. May the Almighty make it easy for us.