Hazrdos

Eat my shorts

Pretty sure @WillieNelson has just been 90 since he was born

If you spoil @Avengers Endgame, idc who you are.. you’re getting a diss track #nobullshit #tryit #AvengersEndGamespoilers #hazrdos #shotgun #shotswillbefired

First person to complain about the heat this summer is getting a diss track, idgf. #nomorewinter #globalwarmingcantbeallbad

I am the Hank Hill of Hip-Hop

Not sure how cold a witches titty is, but’s colder than that outside

Like for real, John loved Garfield more than anything! And that prick of a cat just keeps hurting him over and over again, what other pet owner is gunna make that much lasagna for 1 cat? #FuckGarfield

Like Garfield never knew how good he had it. I know that’s what makes him funny, maybe that’s why I don’t think he’s funny #OvverratedKitty

Isn’t it funny how everyone hates Monday’s? Kinda like Garfield, but for problems that actually matter. Unlike his 1st world problems, sleeping all day lasagna eating ass. I’m starting to resent that cat. #TeamJohn

Cereal > oatmeal. Fight me

I don’t ever look for something to do the night of a day I have off, I look for shit to do the night before I have a day off. #responsible

Or VH1-2? #NotEvenClose

What ever happened to VH1? #MtvOrDie

Gotta love that “fresh off the clock” feeling #helloweekend

I love my life, but sometimes I wish I could give it all up to live in a @BobRossOfficial painting #GoneButNotForgotten

If you hear any kids screaming in the background of one of my songs, it’s just Alice.. I should really start crediting her #thanksforbeingdopekid

Music is like suede, it feels good in your ear 👂

No one likes a know-it-all, especially a know-it-all #stfu

River Valley Riot is more a prediction than a band name @JordanLAnderson #theriotstakingover