Held together by superglue and sarcasm. Attempting to kick cancer’s ass. Not actually a lawyer. (she/her)

Boston, MA
Joined April 2011
Rach, Esq. retweeted
I won't rest until a cure for insomnia is found.
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1986: In the future we'll have flying cars. 2026: Lettuce is poison.
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If you're feeling lonely, stop paying your bills.
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I'll flirt with you regardless of how I'm feeling, I'm rizzilient.
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
If Celine Dion sang the vowels in her name, it would be the chorus of "Old MacDonald”
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
my retirement plan includes making Richard Gere fall in love with me after we have prostitution sex.
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I love how Boston and Scotland became summer camp friends like will we write them? Do we wear plaid now? Will they drink Dunkin only now? I’m excited
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I'm against cosmetic surgery for men. If you're born ugly you have to learn how to be funny. Those were the rules.
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
i’m actually stealing AI’s job (wasting resources and making up stupid shit)
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
*fills out form* *clicks "send me a copy"* email: *dings* me: ooh what's that
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
the human spirit was not designed for this many passwords
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
I heard a cyber truck runs on man jizz.
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
Well, it finally happened. I tried to say "all good" and "no problem" on a work call and it came out "all problem"
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
I like when all of New England comes together over worldly wonders such as a meteor exploding over the south shore
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No you misunderstood I said I was "whining and dining".
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
not a jack of all trades but a hoe of all hobbies
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
sugar daddy: I'm gonna spoil you salt daddy: I'm gonna preserve you
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
i want a small, tasteful wedding. no friends. no family. no groom. just me and an open bar
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I'm going low carb (removing that middle bun from Big Macs).
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
Cambridge, Allston, Southie
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