jm

Nashville is Wakanda for white women

Buying a wheelchair from Goodwill so I can get tickets to The Odyssey on 70mm

Moment of my silence for my favorite barista who got fired for talking about Charlie Kirk

Has anyone considered that they were just embarrassed to be seen enjoying Coldplay?

Bonnie Blue but gay

Taking in the full Tampa experience

I have personally never been to Cheddar Bay, but I love their biscuits

Workin hard to make some sense, but she ain’t got a dime

I gotta stop doing jokes about the troops in small towns before I get my ass whooped by someone who never served

He’s blowing the spot

Looking at your phone while using a urinal is the ultimate gamble

-15 degrees outside. My penis looks like the reset button on the back of a router.

My life is so sick, I get to do the coolest shit

Every month, I’m put into a “are we dating the same guy?” group and all of my restaurant coworkers from my 20s come out of the woodwork to say how funny and cool I am.

Did a show on Saturday in the town where the KKK was formed. Let me tell you, they DO NOT like talking about it.

Nothing smells crazier than a Subway in a Walmart

Fuck Alabama forever

My boss accidentally said retarded during a meeting today then paused and said, “I’m so happy that word’s back”

Dude is wearing a wedding ring, which means someone out there has to explain to their friends what their husband does for fun

Dude at the gym just told me he has won over 1,000 fights then gave me a run down of every political figure who’s secretly trans