cursing to herself as she rests against the wall, body leaning on it fully. it's a few second until she's practically crumbling to the ground, back against the wall now and knees against chest as she slides down.
but when i die, i want it to hurt. i want to get beaten up. i want to hold on until i'm thrown off and everything ends. until that happens, i want to hope again. and i want it to hurt. because that means it meant something.