time:bombs quote bot

TELLER: Midland... MIDLAND: I say it with love in my heart, Boss. I say it with love.

TELLER: My name is Simon Teller. If you meet me, you are probably having the worst day of your life.

TELLER: Look, I've been doing this job for almost ten years, and trust me: any EOD officer worth his salt is pure, red-blooded dysfunctionality. And that's a good thing.

TELLER: That's Mark Midland. He works with me. He's talented, but he's young and immature and still freaks out, which is kinda cute. I like him a lot.

RADIO BOB: A clown school. That's a clown school. TELLER: So when you were saying that there is nothing funny about- MIDLAND: Don't even start.

SOBRERO: How're your hands? TELLER: They'll be fine. It's nothing compared to the pain of being stuck out here while those two jerks-

RADIO BOB: Hey - two hours, man! You're almost there! No more probationary. MIDLAND: (darkly) A lot can happen in two hours. RADIO BOB: Now now. Hour fifty-two. MIDLAND: Well, in that case, I'm home free!

MIDLAND: On our job. The third most dangerous job in the world. RADIO BOB: Third? I thought it was the sixth. TELLER: Third if you only count legal jobs.

TELLER: You learn to like it. The rush, the crunch. You learn to see the funny side. MIDLAND: Yeah, see, that's where you lose me. I'm all for being mindful, and being in control, and not letting your emotions drive the car, but... come on. It isn't funny.

TELLER: See? I told you everything would- BEEP! Both men freeze. Look at each other. Look at the bomb. MIDLAND: Did... Did that thing just beep? Boss, did that thing just-

TELLER: We are both professionals here, aren't we? MIDLAND: ... Yes. That is actually true. TELLER: It - yes. And, you know, in the spirit of being professionals- MIDLAND: The most professional-

TELLER: What's the weather report? RADIO BOB: Dark skies, with a chance for thunderbolt strikes and pink mist.

RADIO BOB: Okay, first. Collapsing circuit. What's going to get you? TELLER: Umm, the primer? No? The trigger? RADIO BOB: You cutting the wires WAS the trigger. MIDLAND: The bomb's awake now, man. You took it off pause.

TELLER: Number one misconception about bombs: they're a bunch of mostly safe things that explode if one specific thing happens. WRONG.

TELLER: My job consists of defusing, disarming, and dismantling: the three D's. We three-dee bombs, grenades, improvised explosive devices - that's I.E.D.'s for you folks at home - homemade ordnances, rockets, firecrackers, cocktails, dynamite, et cetera. And I do mean et cetera.

MIDLAND: You're... taking this well. TELLER: Well, what are you gonna do? Safety first. MIDLAND: Being at the record is still pretty great, Boss. TELLER: I know, I know. It's just... they couldn't have just stuck a firecracker in someone's locker? Midland smiles

MIDLAND: Oookay... How far away are you? How many do you need for the record? Teller sips his coffee... And then holds up 3 fingers.

TELLER: Tonight's Marky-Mark's last night on probationary. At midnight, he's a made man.

SOBRERO: (out with it) What about the record? MIDLAND: Yeah, that. TELLER: (sighing) The record doesn't matter. TELLER: (V.O.) (whining over every word) The record matters so muuuuuuuuuch.

RADIO BOB: Patient has been terminated. MIDLAND: You know, this metaphor is getting really mixed.