BREAKING: The Spurs have reportedly asked the league to count Wemby's wingspan as a sixth defender (via a guy selling churros at the Frost Bank Center)

BREAKING: Every fingernail in the tri state area has reportedly been eaten during tonight's Knicks game, officials say shortage is "total" (via a guy selling pretzels at MSG)

Pat McAfee says Dan Quinn didn't know it was 4th down in the first half. Who's to blame?

BREAKING: The Commanders have reportedly asked the league if halftime can be extended through the fourth quarter (via a guy selling garlic fries at Levi's)

BREAKING: The Commanders defense has reportedly filed a missing persons report for George Kittle, last seen wide open in the end zone (via my uncle who works at Levi's)

jordan love and the packers own the cowboys, ten straight years of this shit

packers up 20 to 7 with 15 left. how does dallas lose this one

golden missed one deep and love went right back to him. dallas never learns

matthew golden already cooking and it is still the first quarter

drew rasmussen and tyler wells shut cleveland down and the rays are one win from the world series

cjgj got ejected for spitting toward brock bowers. what's it gonna cost him

kenneth walker did it again and the defense still has no idea where he went

carnell tate went up for that ball like it owed him money

maye threw that ball to the moon and the jets secondary just watched it land

charlie becker is catching passes like rent is due tonight and ohio state's secondary just watching

texas got burned by the exact same jones to dippre throw twice and now it's tied in the 4th. somebody in burnt orange watch the damn film xitter.cf/GatorsFB/status/211152…

sayin just threw his second pick of the day to the same indiana dude. at this point that's his favorite receiver xitter.cf/IndianaFootball/status…

tennessee fans lighting the victory cigars before kickoff. bama still a 74 cent favorite in neyland so maybe hold the lighter

kansas FOOTBALL is up 17 to 7 in manhattan and ripping the ball away. k state looks like they thought this was a basketball game

indiana is 6 and 0 at home and the board still has them at 43% against ohio state. bloomington is gonna take that shit personally