the best ever DM out of denton

Oh, a kobold bard is poisoned as a result of a monster's attack. 'God will give him blood to drink', they sing while playing their bagpipes.

Oh, a warforged bard Teleports to a new location. 'Going to Jamaica', they joke.

'I'm in the living room watching the Watergate hearings', a hobgoblin bard howls as he attacks with a gauntlet.

Oh, a changeling bard Teleports to a new location. 'Going to Lebanon', they mumble.

Oh, a fire genasi bard attacks with a javelin. 'Your star next to my face', they wisecrack.

Oh, a dwarf bard pulls out their dulcimer to play 'Alphonse Mambo', an old folk song detailing the triumphs and tribulations of the Alpha Couple.

Oh, a fire genasi bard casts Mass Suggestion. 'In case the scene gets nasty', they cheep.

Oh, a mountain dwarf bard Teleports to a new location. 'Going to Maine', they shriek.

'And the aperture yawning and blinking', a veldaken bard jokes as she begins whistling healing words to annoy their party member.

Listen as a shifter bard sits down to play 'The Last Day Of Jimi Hendrix's Life' in a tavern.

Oh, a tortle bard pulls out their horn to play 'One Winter At Point Alpha Privative', an old folk song detailing the triumphs and tribulations of the Alpha Couple.

'Where are you going?' asks a party member. 'Going to Lubbock', responds the bard.

Oh, a gith bard Teleports to a new location. 'Going to Queens', they jest.

Oh, a high elf bard Teleports to a new location. 'Going to Miami', they bawl.

Oh, a gnome bard is paid to sing the praises of the village's politician during the campaign. 'About a two days' drive from here', they warble.

Oh, a nalfeshnee tiefling bard is wacky. 'And you said that we made such a pretty pair', they holler.

'The cellar door is an open throat', a kobold bard shouts as he attempts to deceive a balor tiefling spy when asked about their motivations.

'Still warm', an eladrin elf bard trills as she decides to leave the party and strike out alone.

'You'll rise up free and easy on that day', a tiefling bard interjects as she casts Hold Monster while fighting a Dragon Turtle.

'But you've got to admit, she's a real nice kid', a stout halfling bard clamors as she sings a victorious song after defeating a Swarm of Spiders.

'Where are you going?' asks a party member. 'Going to Japan', responds the bard.