trashingdays

‘What are you afraid of?’ That is essentially what James O’Brien asks a woman who says she doesn’t want to share a changing room with men. While he may not have used those exact words, I suspect many women will recognise the sentiment. ‘Why can’t I give you a lift home?’ ‘Why can’t I come in for coffee?’ ‘Why don’t you want to kiss me?’ ‘Why can’t I stay the night? We don’t have to do anything.’ And now, apparently: ‘Why don’t you want to get changed next to me at the gym? There’s a curtain between us. I promise I won’t peep!’ O’Brien told a woman she was ‘overreacting’ because she didn’t want to share changing facilities with men. But women have spent their lives being expected to explain, justify and defend their personal boundaries. Often to men who insist they’re being unreasonable. The point is that women shouldn’t have to justify those boundaries in the first place. O’Brien has a wife and, I believe, daughters. Have they never talked to him about what it’s like to be a woman? About the pressure women face to be polite, accommodating and not make a fuss? And how familiar his words might have sounded to the women listening? And not in a good way 😬