I come from a long line of HUGE demagogues who led a long line of TREMENDOUS mobs. The lying media don't tell you THAT! #MAGA

Despite what those whistle blowers tell you, Dean Martin is as classy as a turd in a punch bowl, BELIEVE ME!! #MAGA

Those FAILING CIA hardliners are as enthusiastic as a conga line at a wake! #MAGA

Those TERRIBLE media clowns are as sleazy as Hollywood! #MAGA

Despite what those leakers tell you, Tarzan is as feral as a teddy bear, BELIEVE ME!! #MAGA

Those FAILING whistle blowers are as original as going to the post office! #MAGA

Those DISGRACEFUL whistle blowers are as smooth as Andrea Dworkin's legs! #MAGA

I wish William Barr would DO SOMETHING about the double agents who are using Facebook to conduct intrigues against minimum-wage colleagues. Who is their secret paymaster? George Soros and his kind!

#Qanon says Robert Mueller was actually working FOR the Trump Whitehouse, to expose the cabals of sadists who are using the dark web to revel in the suffering of helpless Americans. They want to make victims of us all!

Despite what those FBI moles tell you, Mike Tyson is as ferocious as a mouse, BELIEVE ME!! #MAGA

Those DISGRACEFUL transgender troops are as athletic as a rock! #MAGA

Those CIA hardliners are lying to you: my BRILLIANT friends Newt and Rudi are as obedient as the dog! #MAGA

Those DUMB CIA hardliners are as dramatic as a wall calendar! #MAGA

Despite what those Washington insiders tell you, Alan Partridge is as chatty as Mount Rushmore, BELIEVE ME!! #MAGA

Those DISGUSTING media clowns are as nonchalant as a trilobite taking the next evolutionary step onto land for the first time! #MAGA

Those media clowns are lying to you: my TERRIFIC supporters are as portentous as a potato! #MAGA

Those transgender troops are lying to you: my TREMENDOUS legal children are as impractical as a bicycle! #MAGA

Those Washington insiders are lying to you: my LEGENDARY diehard Republicans are as isolated as a grain of sand in the desert! #MAGA

Despite what those leakers tell you, Agent Phil Coulson is as disciplined as a 5 year old with ADD, BELIEVE ME!! #MAGA

Despite what those NYTimes employees tell you, Tomás de Torquemada is as puritanical as an ape, BELIEVE ME!! #MAGA

Those NYTimes employees are lying to you: my FANTASTIC FOX Friends are as self-indulgent as Mother Theresa! #MAGA