Wiseass film critic for @M_Star_Online, BBC Radio, @talkRADIO, OffScreen, and others ๐ฌ ๐ฟ Skechers enthusiast, blazer aficionado ๐ค๐ผ๐ธ All opinions my own
London, England
Joined August 2010
- Tweets14.1K
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- Likes46.6K
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Cinema app design that shows you the view from your seat before you book.
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Thereโs an entire generation of people who have never experienced the emotional roller coaster of burning a CD and having it fail at 98.7%
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30 Rock never should have gone off the air. Ever since it ended itโs like we shut off the ghost containment grid in Ghostbusters and all the fake movies that were previously trapped in fiction are now flying around in the real world.
This is quite literally the game the Sunโs Showbiz section keyboard-whores individually play in their head after each morning wank.
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Padmeโs medical droid: She just lost the will to live.
Me (there for some reason): Wait, what? Thatโs not a thing.
Droid: Good catchโYouโre right, my first diagnosis of โlost her will to liveโ was incorrect. She actually had a massive cerebral hemorrhage.
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Software companies, two years down the line:
We are an artisanal software company. Every line of code is written by humans, by hand, with love and lots of care.
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My first instinct is to say Enterprise, but it's Voyager.
What a cool concept; a small Federation ship with half its crew replaced by terrorists, stuck 70 years from Federation space.
Then the Maquis crewmen fell in line in a single season, and all the plot elements from TNG fell into the path of Voyager so they could mostly just do comfy TNG-style plots.
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I'm going to prison for having GoldenEye on VHS, DVD and Blu-ray.
๐จ NEW: The following porn is illegal to possess or publish in England and Wales from tomorrow:
- Strangulation or suffocation, such as restricting breathing through facesitting or hand over mouth
- Penetrative sex between family members or people pretending to be related (like father and daughter), including step and foster-family scenarios where one person is or appears under 18
- Adults roleplaying as children under 16, such as wearing school uniform
Anyone who currently possesses the content above must delete it before tomorrow or face up to 3 years in prison, or 5 years if they publish it
One of lifeโs genuine mysteries shall always be just why it is that Marvel consistently cooks SO MUCH HARDER with Vision than any other fucking character in the MCU.
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Iโm crying. ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
This might be the most diabolical use of a foldable phone Iโve ever seen. The reveal when he opens it is INSANE. ๐
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millennial optimism is back baby iโm blasting florence and the machine bass boosted the dog days ARE over
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i need a T-shirt that says "I support Palestine Action and BBW face sitting" so i can get doubly arrested in the UK
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thanks to the new uk laws, i have to masturbate to the facehugger scenes from ALIEN. i dont have any other choice.
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Can we just reflect on the fact our government has banned possessing facesitting porn before it outlawed conversion therapy
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He was born in 1946 in a lake. He died in 2455 reentering orbit. He was an astronaut.
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If franz ferdinand didnโt want to be assassinated he shouldnโt have made a song called โtake me outโ
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Yeah Euston is bad because itโs ugly, has shit shops and constantly fucked trains - but imagine combining that with a nonsensical layout, low ceilings so you canโt see ahead of yourself, last min platform announcements AND then filling it with the UKโs most inefficient travellers