Eloquent, charming, high-souled peacock, steadfastly chivalrous, late-night chip shop provocateur.
Joined July 2009
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Well once again I've brought totally the wrong shoes for a walking holiday in St Ives:
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You have no idea how being a Rug Dealer causes so much conflict & confusion at customs and passport control
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In Valldemossa, I popped my parasol up for my 30° walk to the bar …when I turned I found I was being followed by an excursion of Japanese tourists.
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A restauranteur was adamant his pork WASN'T too dry…after we consulted his CCTV and he saw me doing the Heimlich maneuver on the rest of my table, he took it off the bill.
Good lad
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An enquiring mind might wonder what temperature the Med is at the Mo…
…it's exactly the same temp as my gin&tonics, f*king freezing.
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Yesterday I asked for "crema para verta" in a Euroski…I wanted pouring cream.
It all went quiet…
…eventually a sad looking lady lead me to the medicine section and pointed to Genital warts cream😳
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It's about that time when Christian Horner stated "We need a miracle" to win this championship…and of course he got one. 🤫
#AbuDhabiGP
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Hello 999, do you require
Fire Brigade
Police
Or Ambulance?
Me: Oven please, hurry it's an emergency
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