Ian McArthur

If you're getting your GCSE results today, this is for you. #GCSEResults2024

To any parent whose child is experiencing school anxiety, this story is really worth reading. Sarah shares what happened when her daughter Emily couldn’t go to school because of overwhelming anxiety. “Primary school was easy. Emily was outgoing, sociable, loved her drama classes. Secondary started well: new friends, good grades. She seemed positive. Then, in Year 8, things went wrong. First came the odd detention; then repeated warnings in class, frequent calls home, meetings about behaviour. We stumbled on until the pandemic sent school online. At home, Emily became withdrawn. She saw less of friends. Reluctantly, she returned to school for Year 9, but things fell apart in weeks. One morning she simply said she couldn’t put her uniform on or go in. I knew nothing about anxiety-related school absence. I naively thought young people just got up and went unless they were physically ill. Attempts to cajole or force (yes, I bundled her into the car one day) led to panic attacks and uncommunicative days under the duvet. As term progressed, so did the anxiety. The result was six months of depression, self-harm - and no more school that academic year. It was deeply distressing; for Emily mainly, but also for me. Witnessing your child’s mental health decline rapidly is terrifying. It was also very isolating. Even the most empathetic friends and family cannot understand without direct experience. Where are we now? Emily, now in Year 10, is in school most days. She works on her anxiety with a fantastic mentor and spends breaks in a quiet room. She has regular CAMHS appointments and is waiting for an autism assessment. Things aren’t easy, but they are so much better. The turning point was hospital admission after a particularly serious self-harm incident. A psychiatrist assessed Emily (she had previously refused to engage with CAMHS) and prescribed sertraline for anxiety and depression. There was real improvement, quickly. It was an indescribable relief. After a few weeks, Emily said she felt like going back to school. She was still anxious, as well as nervous about missed work and what people would be saying, and there were some failed attempts. Then her mentor offered a home visit. They chatted and then she suggested Emily put her uniform on for a walk “just to the school gates”. She managed an hour in school for the next three days. That would have seemed inconceivable previously. The home visit from school was the link we needed. There are still days when Emily can’t go in, but letting go of the idea that education has to be a linear progression helps. It’s not easy, but I try not to worry about the future too much. I’ve learnt that mental health takes priority over education. School remains a daily battle for Emily, and I am so proud of what she has achieved.” If you relate to Sarah’s story, our Parents Helpline can support you. You can call us call us for free on 0808 802 5544, from 09:30am – 4pm, Monday – Friday. You’ll get through to a trained adviser who will listen and talk through your concerns in complete confidence. You are not alone in this.