zach o'lantern

when I unload the dishwasher without being asked

hell is your favorite DJs coming to town to play at the worst possible venues

This Eric Adams news is really telling me who my true friends (appreciators of the horny emoji text) are

(suppressing weeb voice in manager meeting) ummm, there’s actually a Japanese term called nemawashi for that

My version of the white woman saying gracias at the taqueria is asking for pad kee mao when the menu says drunken noodles

Sobering to learn that one of your favorite childhood restaurants has 3.1 stars on Yelp

wirecutter best god to follow

Getting blotto at the Salesforce Park listening to liquid drum & bass 20 feet from their non-binary hedge

finally getting the good @eBay ads

stop naming your cat mochi or momo! use these names instead: - sus - gyat - no cap - rizz - bussy (for boy cats)

2pm: Man, I dunno why everyone gives the Prussians such a hard time. They had such nice woodworking 8pm, reading about Namibia: okay absolutely fuck the Hohenzollerns

Can’t stand when people write “niceeeee” The e is silent!