Abdulrokeeb Bonnylad

JAPA: NOBODY TELLS YOU ABOUT THE DAY YOU REALIZE YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN. 🇳🇬🇺🇸 One thing about Japa that people hardly talk about is the psychological adjustment that comes with leaving everything you’ve ever known behind. You see, when you’re in Nigeria planning to leave, your mind is already calculating how much you’ll earn abroad, the car you’ll drive, the house you’ll live in, and how your life is about to change. Nobody really sits you down to explain that you’re also about to lose something money cannot immediately replace. Your familiar environment. Your support system. Your sense of belonging. I was 29 when I left Nigeria finally. A Lagos boy, born, bred, buttered and burnt in the madness of that city. 😂 And trust me, growing up in Lagos gives you a certain confidence. You believe you can survive anywhere because, after all, if Lagos hasn’t killed you, what else can? Omo, international life will humble that confidence. 😂 You can be surrounded by thousands of people and still feel completely alone. You can have money in your account and still miss the days when you had almost nothing but could walk into someone’s house unannounced, eat their food, insult them, and laugh until your stomach hurts. Abroad will teach you that being financially comfortable and being emotionally comfortable are two entirely different things. But there’s another part. The pressure to succeed. Because once you’ve left Nigeria, especially when people back home know you’re in America, you’re no longer allowed to struggle in peace. Everybody assumes you’ve made it. You could be working yourself to exhaustion, calculating bills, trying to keep your head above water, and someone back home will casually tell you, “Bros, na dollars you dey spend.” 😂😂😂 Dollars that already have landlords, insurance companies, car payments, and Uncle Sam waiting for their share before they even enter your account. And sometimes you can’t even explain your situation because it sounds like you’re complaining about the very opportunity millions of people are praying for. So you keep moving. You learn to solve problems without calling ten people. You learn to celebrate little victories without an audience. You learn that nobody is coming to rescue you simply because you’re tired. And somewhere along the journey, something changes. You become more independent, more conscious of your decisions, and more appreciative of the things you once took for granted. Today, when I look back at that Lagos boy who left Nigeria at 29, I realize that the biggest thing America gave me wasn’t dollars. It was a different understanding of responsibility, discipline, opportunity, and the consequences of my decisions. Do I regret leaving Nigeria? Absolutely not. Would I encourage someone with a genuine opportunity to Japa? Of course. But I would also tell them something very important. Don’t prepare only your passport, visa, and bank account. Prepare your mind. Because the country you’re going to might change your financial situation, but the journey itself will change you as a person. And sometimes, the person you become is the biggest price you pay and the greatest reward you receive. Japa is sweet, but nobody should deceive you that the sweetness comes without sacrifice. I’ll tell you more about my journey another day. From Lagos to America, na long story. 😂🇳🇬🇺🇸