Adam of Earth (@AdamOfEarth) header
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@AdamOfEarth@mstdn.social A bit of science, a bit of sarcasm, a bit of something else.

Earth
Joined November 2012
Photo by Adam of Earth (@AdamOfEarth)Photo by Adam of Earth (@AdamOfEarth)Photo by Adam of Earth (@AdamOfEarth)Photo by Adam of Earth (@AdamOfEarth)Photo by Adam of Earth (@AdamOfEarth)Photo by Adam of Earth (@AdamOfEarth)Photo by Adam of Earth (@AdamOfEarth)Photo by Adam of Earth (@AdamOfEarth)Photo by Adam of Earth (@AdamOfEarth)Photo by Adam of Earth (@AdamOfEarth)
Adam of Earth retweeted
"You promise you didn't get me bees again" [me from a distance] just open it
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Adam of Earth retweeted
love how during intense moments in space-themed movies they'll show the dashboard panels, as though you'll be like ah. ah i see the issue
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “lmao" said Gandalf, “well it has.”
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most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
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Adam of Earth retweeted
birds can make their homes in tall treetops and soar at great heights and pigeons are like no thank you i will commute by foot to home depot
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Adam of Earth retweeted
[Me to the second baseman after I slide into 2nd] Make sure u separate plastics & food waste [Coach from dugout] NOT THAT KIND OF TRASH TALK
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me: [peeling a banana] may i take ur jacket lol coworker also in the break room: do you think other people can't hear you
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ME: honey, it's really muggy out today WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u ME: *sips coffee from bowl*
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Adam of Earth retweeted
[being chased by killer] ME: *frantically pressing crosswalk button*
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Adam of Earth retweeted
Sometimes I'm playing a dangerous game like Halo & people ask if I get scared but honestly no, your training just takes over
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Adam of Earth retweeted
hard to imagine a more embarrassing death than being beaten with a candlestick in a library by someone named colonel mustard
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you need to be hobbit-maxxing. you should be eating big breakfasts and making dramatic exits from parties. you need to be growing potatoes and drinking ale. you need to be smoking with wizards
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Adam of Earth retweeted
It's a beautiful evening to let the disembodied voice of a dead language plunge you into darkness.
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*Magneto flapping his wrist frantically, trying to shake loose a fork stuck to his hand*
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Adam of Earth retweeted
If you'll look at this slide, you can see the Death Star's weaknesses here- *Stormtrooper misses with laser pointer* *Misses again* Actually, no weaknesses. Let's move on.
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english teacher: describe a tree in as few words as possible. JRR Tolkien: no
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Adam of Earth retweeted
Love twitter’s “last days of an MMO before the server shuts down” energy
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Adam of Earth retweeted
Judas: still on for Friday? Jesus: Friday? Judas: yeah, the last supper Jesus: the what? Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas
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Adam of Earth retweeted
Me: Is the natural state of the soul quiet or chaos? Taco Bell cashier: Look buddy, it’s transient, shifting like water
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Adam of Earth retweeted
Oh really, Carol? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take you to mind your own business
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