Lucius: Vernon, you verminous fat bastard! Vernon: Lucius, you snake-faced ferret bastard! Lucius: HAHAHAHAHA! Still hating everyone today, I see! Vernon: Of course! Can't trust anyone these days, especially those damn idiots who think they're better than us! Lucius: Hear, hear! Finally, a man with some sense! Vernon: That's why you're my best mate, Lucius! Two respectable gentlemen surrounded by absolute degenerates! Lucius: Precisely! Now, tell me, Vernon, how's the wife? Vernon: Wonderful! Still complaining about my drinking, though. Lucius: Women, eh? Always something to complain about! Vernon: HAHAHAHA! Exactly! And how's your wife? Lucius: Narcissa? Perfectly lovely. She only threatens to hex me when I deserve it. Vernon: HAHAHAHA! A woman who knows her place! Lucius: Indeed! Speaking of which, have you heard about that Potter boy? Vernon: Don't remind me! That little freak has caused me nothing but trouble! Lucius: HA! And he's been nothing but trouble for my family as well! Vernon: Finally, something we agree on! Lucius: Vernon, my friend, I propose a toast! Vernon: To what? Lucius: To good drinks, good company, traditional values, and keeping idiots out of our business! Vernon: NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! They clink their glasses together. Lucius: To us, you fat bastard. Vernon: To us, you ugly ferret. Lucius and Vernon: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Two miserable old bastards, united by their shared arrogance, mutual prejudices, and the absolute certainty that they are the only sensible men left in Britain.