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Andy Pitz

@AndyPitz

Dad, comedian heard on Sirius XM Ch 98 / 97. my fav comedian right now is Paul F. Tompkins. Most interested in comedy, wellness and friendship.

 Rockland NY
andypitz.com
Joined October 2008
  • Tweets7.4K
  • Following1.9K
  • Followers2.9K
70Media
Photo by Andy Pitz (@AndyPitz)Photo by Andy Pitz (@AndyPitz)Photo by Andy Pitz (@AndyPitz)Photo by Andy Pitz (@AndyPitz)Photo by Andy Pitz (@AndyPitz)Photo by Andy Pitz (@AndyPitz)Photo by Andy Pitz (@AndyPitz)Photo by Andy Pitz (@AndyPitz)Photo by Andy Pitz (@AndyPitz)Photo by Andy Pitz (@AndyPitz)
We are in the honeymoon phase of our divorce
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Andy Pitz retweeted
Baba (@BabaDClint) profile picture
Baba
@BabaDClint2 Jan 2025
I’m not sure what I just watched but I love it.😅😂
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I just pardoned my mother.
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People still make references to putting such and such "on speed dial" which is just so funny and great. It may never die
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In 2024 people are upset about what a newspaper is not doing.
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"The world is watching", like we care what they think all of a sudden
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Andy Pitz retweeted
Tony P. (@Tbone7219) profile picture
Tony P.@Tbone721919 Oct 2024
1970: Wow the future is gonna be awesome 1980: the future is gonna be awesome 2024: The 70’s and 80’s were awesome
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"I hate kids" says more about you than kids
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Status: Still no idea what I'm doing but getting a lot better at it
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If we’re going to continue to along these lines, shouldn’t the man who impregnates a woman who dies because she couldn’t get an abortion be tried for murder?
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The best movie James Earl Jones was in is Coming To America #zamunda #king
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Having the thought while meditating "I'm not very good at this..." is exactly why I need to meditate
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Shaving with a straight razor is really fun if you enjoy visualizing your own murder about 40 times first thing in the morning
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Just yelled at this guy "Hey watch where you're going"
Image from Andy Pitz (@AndyPitz)
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If I ever text you "too funny", most of the time it means not funny enough
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Someday I won't mind snide comments on my battery life when I send screenshots. But for now it pisses me off
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Email "It's time to re-order checks!" I have enough to last me until I'm 235 but thanks
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Tip: pause after typing hahahah to make sure it didn't change to HAHAHAH before pressing send
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Not sure why they're called "tweens"but this week my 12 year old daughter made out with a boy in his basement and also got a ballon after her dentist appointment.
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How the hell should I know? Does anyone?
Image from Andy Pitz (@AndyPitz)
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New record: was awake for almost 45 minutes today before hearing the word "game-changer."
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