TheJosh (@Auhjo) header
TheJosh (@Auhjo) profile picture

Christian, Husband, and Father. Parenting: because you are never too old to have a happy childhood

Kansas, USA
Joined December 2008
Photo by TheJosh (@Auhjo)Photo by TheJosh (@Auhjo)Photo by TheJosh (@Auhjo)Photo by TheJosh (@Auhjo)Photo by TheJosh (@Auhjo)Photo by TheJosh (@Auhjo)Photo by TheJosh (@Auhjo)Photo by TheJosh (@Auhjo)Photo by TheJosh (@Auhjo)Photo by TheJosh (@Auhjo)
TheJosh retweeted
Commander Adama watching your base's commissary food spoil because you connected your freezers to the internet
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Biblically accurate
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For fifty eight years, my boss in Tokyo believed that beef should be sliced as thin as paper. In Japan, we cook thin meat for four seconds in boiling broth. That is our way. Then last month, the YouTube algorithm showed Director Sato a video of a man in Texas smoking a brisket. It changed his life. On Monday morning, he called me to his desk. His eyes were bloodshot. "Have you seen this?" he whispered, turning his monitor toward me. "The American pitmaster does not sleep for sixteen hours. He sits by the fire in the dark. He guards the meat like a castle." I said, "Sir, it is just a barbecue." He slammed his hand on the desk. "This is not cooking," he said. "This is a vigil." Last Saturday was our annual company picnic by the river in Kanagawa. Normally, we grill thin meat and yakisoba for two hours and go home at 2:00 PM. I arrived at 9:30 AM to help set up. Director Sato was already there. I want to be accurate here: he had been sitting in a folding chair since 10:00 PM on Friday night. He was wearing a towel around his head and staring at a massive black barrel smoker he had imported from Oklahoma. Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS ABANDONED CORPORATE LIFE FOR THE SMOKE. When we tried to help him, he held up a pair of metal tongs and clicked them twice. "Step back," he said calmly. "The stall has begun. Nobody opens the lid." Twelve Japanese accountants stood in complete silence around a barrel for four more hours. Nobody dared to eat a single noodle until he gave the signal. At 1:45 PM, he sliced the meat. It fell apart on the cutting board. My boss looked at the pink smoke ring, nodded once, and wiped a single tear from his cheek. He has already submitted an official budget request for a trailer smoker for next fiscal year.
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TheJosh retweeted
I'm voting for the party that didn't celebrate President Trump getting shot and Charlie Kirk getting murdered. Thanks.
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TheJosh retweeted
Charlie Kirk was murdered and they laughed. You’re thinking about skipping the midterms?
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TheJosh retweeted
Colton Parayko may secretly be a Jedi, as he appeared to use the Force push to defend against Quinn Hughes in last night's game 🤯🤣 (h/t @JasonGregor)
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The puck is traveling along the end board. 97 was going behind the net to meet the puck, HOFer went to stop the puck. HOFer impeded the progress of a player without possession. That’s interference. This is a hockey play. Just because 97 got his bell rung does not make this a “dirty” play. #stlblues #mnwild
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TheJosh retweeted
Replying to @StefanMolyneux
If Boomers hadn't aborted 1/3 of Millennials then the fund might have remained solvent through their retirement, but they were always too selfish and myopic to avoid these catastrophes.
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TheJosh retweeted
Worldwide.
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TheJosh retweeted
JUST IN: 🇺🇸 US boomers overwhelmingly support higher taxes on younger workers to maintain current Social Security benefits, poll shows.
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Fuck. You.
JUST IN: 🇺🇸 US boomers overwhelmingly support higher taxes on younger workers to maintain current Social Security benefits, poll shows.
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TheJosh retweeted
Replying to @LeadingReport
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Sen. Chuck Schumer: “Our ultimate goal” is to give every illegal alien citizenship.
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“My gas prices are a bit high so I’m gonna vote for the give-all-the-illegals-citizenship party.”
Sen. Chuck Schumer: “Our ultimate goal” is to give every illegal alien citizenship.
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It's not just a game, it's a grudge. #stlblues
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Replying to @Not_the_Bee
Even the demons believe — and shudder!
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Before Suters goal everyone that scored was under 24 years old. This is a great sign for the future of the Blues. #stlblues
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