CUSS BROTHER

i don't want to keel over from a heart attack and have the first responders open up my phone and see my timeline and be like "oh, this guy followed a bunch of people on twitter who watched the oscars".

sports - even the bad ones - have a raison d'etre that goes beyond self-aggrandizement

why would anyone livetweet their reactions to an awards show

i'm sorry they made you delete your alt, i think it was more interesting than most stuff on this site

you called me "reddit"... ( walking to mirror) you called me "reddit". (taking out razor) you called me reddit. (shaving head into mohawk) you called me... reddit? (putting razor down) you called me, reddit... (picking up shoulder-fired rocket launcher) you fucking called me redd

even sadder than the tit-terrified schizo warmaester is the sadsack doof breaking pd to totally freaking own him

and everybody's just gotta talk talk about it, always

you had kids with larry summers?

that really is a weird skinny tario

sunrise, sunset,

break away

It's adorable how spitefully jealous longoids (men with penises over 3 inches in length) get when us normal men mention how pleasant it feels to try using a different finger for jerking off. I mean, sorry for your deformity bro, but you're not really engendering much sympathy! ✌️

mine now

wahhh i need a content warning. wahhhhhhh

among the ones you personally can make sense of, yeah

abuhbuhbuhbuh. gaaadurrr

can the mods do a wellness check on bh

Yeah, then I'd fit in with the rest of the stale shit in your kitchen. Boom - another noob effortlessly nuked.

I'm 60 years old and fertile

If Pissman wore a onesie, it'd be more like a tensie.