I was once voted the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had
Great Pit of Carkoon
Joined September 2012
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Skinny Weaver retweeted
ALT Year 1: Sisyphus struggles to roll the rock up the hill. Year 5000: a now swole Sisyphus easily pushes rock up hill. He punches Hades in the face and says "haha fuck you Hades now I'm swole enough to punch you to death." A man says to his friend "and that's what I would have done if I were Sisyphus." His friend replies "dude, awesome."
Skinny Weaver retweeted
wikipedia: please. please just give me one dollar i'm begging you give me anything
me: [trying to look up the hamburglar's full name] shut the fuck up
Skinny Weaver retweeted
clocks are such a waste of energy. instead of hanging an electricity-guzzling clock on your wall, just hang up 720 unpowered clocks, each one set to every possible minute. then, if you want to look at a clock, just find the one that shows the current time and look at that one
Skinny Weaver retweeted
H.P. Lovecraft: Your limited human mind cannot comprehend Cthulhu
Me: (comprehending easily) Squid guy
Skinny Weaver retweeted
Yeah I’m into fitness. Fitness hot dog up my sleeve to secretly eat it during a lunch meeting.
Skinny Weaver retweeted
Me as a kid reading the back of the box on the new game I got, over and over on the car ride home
Skinny Weaver retweeted
If Boris Johnson survives this I would honestly fancy his chances against Thanos
Skinny Weaver retweeted
being friends w your childhood friends as an adult is crazy. it’s like dam i remember when you were 3 ft tall.
Skinny Weaver retweeted
For £10k I’ll come down and simply tell him “come off your line and get the ball you soft twat”
For an extra £5k I’ll throw in the gem “kick it to one of your team mates”
🗞 David de Gea has been disheartened in the past by some of the goalkeeper training at #mufc, particularly when high-profile coaches have arrived and had little impact in terms of helping him lift his game to the next level. [@polballus]