The Bungle Diaries

1 Oct 2018: Geoffrey didn’t get up today. Played with crayons. No supper. 😥

27 July 2026: Zippy didn’t get up today. Played with crayons. No supper. 😥

28 May 2021: Freddy didn’t come round to play today. Played with crayons. 😢

5 Dec 73: An extremely drunk Christopher Lillicrap payed an unwelcome visit at midnight. Staggering outside Jane’s window, he belched: “Bong! It’s Lillicock O'Clock! The Lilliclock has struck 12 - and that’s not the only thing that’s ‘12’ if you get my drift.” Buns for supper

4 Dec 73: “Goldilocks tasted the porridge from the first bowl. ‘This porridge is too hot!’ she exclaimed. So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl. ‘This porridge is too cold,’ she said. So, she tasted the last...” “Jane?” “Yes, Bungle?” “I want to sniff your knickers.”

3 Dec 1973 9am: Played with crayons 12pm: Zippy called Christopher Lillicrap “Christopher Smellycock” 6pm: Buns ‘n’ Tizer for tea 8pm: Bed 1am: Crept into Jane’s room and sniffed her knickers

Best Bungle? 1 Adorabungle 2 Comfortabungle 3 Unflappabungle 4 Questionabungle

"Men do not understand books until they have a certain amount of life, or at any rate no man understands a deep book, until he has seen and lived at least part of its contents." Ezra Pound

I am announcing that I am standing to become the next Prime Minister.

14 Dec 73: A steaming drunk Christopher Lillicrap staggered upstairs to Jane's room, belching: "Jane! Set your Lilliclock to Lillicock O'Clock." "Not a chance, Lillicrap," she countered. "I saw you at the Lilliclinic, and you've got a dose of Lilliclap." Extra dry muesli for tea

13 Dec 73: Jane insisted on reading me a story about 3 little pigs & a big bad wolf, but curiously became rather angry by the end. "If the 3 little pigs are my knickers, Bungle," she growled, "then the big bad wolf is your nose, sniffing them." Buns 'n' Tizer for supper

12 Dec 73: While reading us a story, Christopher Lillicrap lost focus and gawped at the laundry. "...and then mummy bear picked up her bowl of porridge... laundry... and said to the other bears... Jane's knickers... something about porridge... I want to sniff Jane's knickers..."

AAAAAAARRRGGGHH!!!