Carpe (@CarpesReturn) header
Carpe (@CarpesReturn) profile picture

The world’s foremost expert in humility.

Joined October 2023
Photo by Carpe (@CarpesReturn)Photo by Carpe (@CarpesReturn)Photo by Carpe (@CarpesReturn)Photo by Carpe (@CarpesReturn)Photo by Carpe (@CarpesReturn)Photo by Carpe (@CarpesReturn)Photo by Carpe (@CarpesReturn)Photo by Carpe (@CarpesReturn)Photo by Carpe (@CarpesReturn)Photo by Carpe (@CarpesReturn)
Carpe retweeted
that “get a load of this guy” hand gesture is easily one of the top 2 hand gestures of all time
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Motherfucker, that's called LinkedIn
Debería de haber una app como tinder pero Nadamas para tener sexo
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I am never listening to a single man accuse women of "hypergamy" again. There is no "hypergamy." Women, including me, are doing our best to screen for men who think we are great. This is just the same Sunday after he was here. Are all of his nice texts lies to someone he thought was below him? Men who think they are too good for us should not be texting us like this. PERIOD!! And I think in general, they don't. I think men mostly mean it and are not just lying and being players. Does this look like a player? Was I getting played in a Chad harem? No I don't actually think so. I think I got paranoid because of all these "hypergamy"'accusations. The inverse is hypogamy. Men are implicitly accusing other men of being hypogamous.
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Carpe retweeted
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Carpe retweeted
"what if ai gets too good" i dont know . Who cares. What if bras and panties get too erotic
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I'm organising a charity event for people who never have orgasms. Please let me know if you can't come.
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Воскресный день А вы шо делаете?😆😆😆😆😆
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mom, dad, this is my replyguy
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Carpe retweeted
[seductively takes off glasses] wow you're fucking blurry
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Carpe retweeted
if weed can damage your short term memory imagine what weed can fucking do
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Do you think Limu Emu and Liberty Biberty have ever explored each others bodies
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You know you can do multiple things at once. Live your life. Build a network. Get involved locally. Prepare for any emergency. Send GM’s to your homies. Talk shit to the stupid. Learn Arabic.
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Hol up
You can see Abdul’s team getting emotional during his speech. Here some of them are in the crowd.
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All rational men are misogynists.
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i bet being a ballot box on a high voter turnout day feels good as fuck. like please stuff more ballots into me mmmmffffggg
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your vote should not count the same as mine
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Carpe retweeted
none of the substances i tried were abused, only loved
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Carpe retweeted
the “I Voted” sticker stays ON during sex
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Congratulations Kings, we are one day in and very clearly winning no nut November. Be prepared for cheating and sneak attacks. The women seem to have organized this year but we are men and we never lose
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Imagine putting together an entire halftime show based off of one woman doing a cover of Thunderstruck on xylophone……and having it KICK TOTAL ASS!
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