My favorite relationship advice is to do whatever it takes to become more secure and positive-sum. When you’re secure, you don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back from pursuing friendships and relationships, you’re be more attractive to the people you pursue, and you prevent a ton of negative/alienating interactions. When you’re positive-sum (or “full of love”), you genuinely root for other people’s flourishing on their own terms, independent of what’s in it for you, and you act in ways to bring it about that work for you. Generosity enriches your spirit, making you more secure. Security, or self-respect, is a by-product of *being* a person you’d respect. The red-pill advice often focuses on looks or wealth, but no amount of either can bring durable security if you’re not secure without them. Real confidence can only be earned by being proud of yourself (which is when those things are helpful—when they represent hard work you’re proud of, not when they’re a crutch). There are no short cuts. It’s simple, but hard. When you’re secure and positive-sum, people trust and feel safe around you, which is what they want. You then become rich in a currency money can’t buy.