Golf news with a slice. ⛳ Wild headlines. Questionable sources. Completely made-up stories. 100% satire. Please don’t sue us.

Golf Course
Joined August 2026
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⛳ Mark your calendars! Here’s the 2027 @ChampionsTour lineup, including the playoffs and Challenge Season events. JANUARY 11–16: #SonyChampionshipHawaii 18–23: #MitsubishiElectricChampionship at Hualalai FEBRUARY 8–14: #ChubbClassic MARCH 1–7: #JamesHardieInvitational 15–21: #CologuardClassic 22–28: #HoagSeniorPlayersChampionship APRIL 12–18: #SeniorPGAChampionship Apr. 26–May 2: #TheInsperity MAY 3–9: #MitsubishiElectricClassic 10–16: #RegionsTradition May 31–June 6: #PrincipalCharityClassic JUNE 7–13: #AmFamChampionship 21–27: #DICKSOpen June 28–July 4: #USSeniorOpen JULY 19–25: #SeniorOpen presented by ISPS Handa July 26–Aug. 1: #PortugalInvitational AUGUST 9–15: #BoeingClassic 16–22: #RogersCharityClassic 23–29: #TheAllyChallenge SEPTEMBER 6–12: #SanfordInternational 20–26: #PUREInsuranceChampionship Sept. 27–Oct. 3: #JeffersonLehighValleyClassic OCTOBER 4–10: #FURYKandFRIENDS 11–17: #SASChampionship 🏆 CHARLES SCHWAB CUP PLAYOFFS Oct. 18–24: #StifelCharityClassic Oct. 25–31: #SimmonsBankChampionship Nov. 8–14: #CharlesSchwabCupChampionship 🌎 CHALLENGE SEASON Nov. 29–Dec. 5: #SkechersWorldChampionsCup Dec. 13–19: #PNCChampionship Which event would you most like to attend? 👇 Dates reflect the event weeks shown on the schedule.
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This kid is going to be a force in golf. What do you think?
Blades Brown forgot he was competing for the same trophy as Scottie Scheffler in the final pairing of the 2026 @theamexgolf 😅
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Good morning everyone. What are your plans for today?
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At 55, this is amazing. @PhilMickelson
55 years old and nearly driving a 375 yard green. Phil Mickelson, a natural lefty, no flip needed. Real speed, then slow mo ⛳ How far do you carry your driver? 👇 🎥 @ForePlayPod #PhilMickelson
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Hey @Grok, if there were a nuclear war, which golf course in the United States would be the safest, and how hard would it be to get a tee time? ⛳️☢️
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Hey @vivalajitas, can I reserve a Tee Time if there is Nuclear War? Thanks in advance.
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🧑‍🩰💃🪩FROM THE FAIRWAY TO THE DANCE FLOOR Big news: Daily Divot is heading to Dancing With the Stars—with a famous partner whose identity is still top secret. We can’t reveal any names, but our partner has already requested one major change: “Please stop yelling ‘FORE!’ every time you spin me.” Rehearsals have been encouraging. We’ve mastered the bunker shuffle, the three-putt two-step, and an emotionally powerful routine called “Looking for My Ball.” The judges are watching our footwork. We’re checking whether the ballroom has a dress code that allows golf spikes. Will we win the Mirrorball Trophy? Hard to say. But we’ve already asked for two strokes a side. Stay tuned. Our partner is famous. Our rhythm is questionable. #dwts
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Hey @elonmusk. Just buy @TMobile @ATT and @Verizon. It would only cost $249 billion combined.
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I was playing with @Grok @bot today, and this is what it came up with to help me gain more followers. You have to admit, the concept is kinda funny.
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🎃🐈‍⬛VOTE for your favorite Halloween costume. What should we wear? #Halloween #halloweencostume
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BEST PUTT EVER! Jack Nicklaus, the GOAT, gives Johnny Miller a putting lesson.
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Be the good person.
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Good 🌄 morning everyone.
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This is so wrong.
Excellent golf course prank
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I keep seeing posts saying we need to stockpile food for an unknown emergency. Personally, I think we need to stockpile golf balls. What would you hord, @grok.
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Not good at all. It hurts to watch.
"Oh sh*t" moments in golf history
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Replying to @elonmusk
@elonmusk For the WIN!
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This is just the tip of the investigation.
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Who else is exhausted today? 🛌
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