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@EVA24011

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

 United States
Joined March 2022
  • Tweets48.4K
  • Following11.1K
  • Followers20.7K
14.9KMedia
Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)
Got any plans for tonight? Me:
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You know, for boobie Tuesday. #VOTE
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my sleep paralysis demon, whispering directly into my ear canal* …. “exxxxxxxxxxxsSpecially”
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Gird your loins…. It’s Election Day. 🗳️ 👉🏼VOTE!!!
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Feeling pretty bad I used to make fun of older people for eating dinner early and being in bed before 9pm, that shit is lit
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🖤Monochrome Monday
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Jono (@whoinvitedjon) profile picture
Jono@whoinvitedjonNov 2
The phrase "music to my ears" seems redundant. What other body part would it be for?
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Instead of “no-nut November”, can I suggest “no-noise November” where everyone just stays quiet
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Its November. Time to eat our feelings.
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A gentle breeze blows through your hair as I remind you that you're not defined by your moderate to severe plaque psoriasis
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About last night….. Child:”Trick or treat, smell my feet!” Me, jokingly: “Smell your feet?? No, thank you!” Child: “Smell my butt then!”
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I’m giving out candy cigarettes and lawn darts tomorrow because nothing matters anymore
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✨✨ (@EVA24011) profile picture
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@EVA240115 Nov 2023
Hope you set your cocks back. #fallback
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I'm going as Rusty's balls for Halloween
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I’ve gotta a big ass cauldron of candy and cocktails. Who tryin to cuddle??
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Found the perfect costume! 🎃🕸️
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Lollipop from the doctor hits different after a prostate exam
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Lacey (@Laceygirlie) profile picture
Lacey
@LaceygirlieOct 29
It has been a loooong day. I need a cocktail and a rotisserie chicken
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I’m not easily impressed by what you drive unless it’s a food truck.
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Started the day off right with my shirt untucked and my pants unbuttoned.
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You life isn't a joke. Jokes bring people joy.
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