
Big fan of my twin teenage boys and my wife. As seen on: @HuffPostParents, @mashable, @parentsmagazine, @BuzzFeed, @TODAYshow.
Orange County, CA
Joined April 2010
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*overheard from the other room
8yo: Can I have an ice cream sandwich?
Grandma: Did you finish your dinner?
8yo: No
Grandma: Just one then
Robert Knop retweeted
[productive conversations with a teenager, Act I]
me: what was the hockey meeting about?
15: idk nothing.
me: did you get the practice schedule?
15: oh yeah, it's every day but one.
me: which one?
15: ummm i don't remember.
me: what time?
15: 5:30
me: AM or PM??
15: i'm not sure
I don't always remember to call my son's high school absence line when he's sick, but when I do, I call his old middle school by mistake and they tell me "there's no child registered by that name."
Robert Knop retweeted
The real staffing strategy around here:
Let people resign.
Pretend their workload resigned with them.
Robert Knop retweeted
[coming home from work, seeing neighbors socializing on my front lawn]
drives past my house
At the barbershop and the barber next to me started harmonizing as soon as the Mariah Carey song started, and then sang along with whole song.
You could tell that song MEANT something to him.
I wonder if the new bananas see the old, rotten bananas from last week still sitting there and lose all hope
My kids were having a great day...until I reminded them they have to clean the house today and make dinner
Robert Knop retweeted
That abandoned car seat on the side of the highway isn’t trash.
It’s a roadside monument marking the second a parent’s final thread went SNAP.
Robert Knop retweeted
If I was a Transformer? I'd be called something like 'Past-His Prime' and i'd turn into a VCR
Robert Knop retweeted
Time for my big, white New Balances!
I just stated aloud and in public "That used to be a cornfield!"
Robert Knop retweeted
A bidet, but it’s just me in my neighbour’s yard at 2am with their garden hose on the jet setting










