Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) header
Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) profile picture

Big fan of my twin teenage boys and my wife. As seen on: @HuffPostParents, @mashable, @parentsmagazine, @BuzzFeed, @TODAYshow.

Orange County, CA
Joined April 2010
Photo by Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins)Photo by Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins)Photo by Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins)Photo by Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins)Photo by Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins)Photo by Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins)Photo by Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins)Photo by Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins)Photo by Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins)Photo by Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins)
*overheard from the other room 8yo: Can I have an ice cream sandwich? Grandma: Did you finish your dinner? 8yo: No Grandma: Just one then
30
368
43
1,545
Robert Knop retweeted
[productive conversations with a teenager, Act I] me: what was the hockey meeting about? 15: idk nothing. me: did you get the practice schedule? 15: oh yeah, it's every day but one. me: which one? 15: ummm i don't remember. me: what time? 15: 5:30 me: AM or PM?? 15: i'm not sure
3
1
26
734
I don't always remember to call my son's high school absence line when he's sick, but when I do, I call his old middle school by mistake and they tell me "there's no child registered by that name."
1
8
426
You can’t even buy a red panda in this magazine! False advertising.
1
4
218
Robert Knop retweeted
Accidentally brought a steak knife to a vampire fight
3
13
34
958
I get knocked down, but I don’t get up again. I’m tired and it’s nice down here.
2
2
2
333
The real staffing strategy around here: Let people resign. Pretend their workload resigned with them.
1
8
13
481
When the Uber driver says, “I don’t mean to get political, but…”
1
3
258
[coming home from work, seeing neighbors socializing on my front lawn] drives past my house
9
141
5
322
At the barbershop and the barber next to me started harmonizing as soon as the Mariah Carey song started, and then sang along with whole song. You could tell that song MEANT something to him.
2
1
6
458
I wonder if the new bananas see the old, rotten bananas from last week still sitting there and lose all hope
1
3
1
7
560
My kids were having a great day...until I reminded them they have to clean the house today and make dinner
1
3
647
Robert Knop retweeted
🫠
3
3
50
1,448
That abandoned car seat on the side of the highway isn’t trash. It’s a roadside monument marking the second a parent’s final thread went SNAP.
7
15
497
If I was a Transformer? I'd be called something like 'Past-His Prime' and i'd turn into a VCR
52
521
9
1,318
94,027
Robert Knop retweeted
Time for my big, white New Balances! I just stated aloud and in public "That used to be a cornfield!"
9
13
637
unhinged? brother, i never had a hinge in the first place
6
15
924
Robert Knop retweeted
I keep my life mysterious by refusing to follow along for part 2
4
21
1,522
A bidet, but it’s just me in my neighbour’s yard at 2am with their garden hose on the jet setting
12
21
692
Robert Knop retweeted
In hell, they have 3 factor identification.
1
12
30
1,248
“What do you recommend that has high fiber?” - people my age at restaurants
4
10
1,007