@FindingCorey

Alas, that these evil days should be mine.

Joined April 2011
  • Tweets9.4K
  • Following195
  • Followers163
724Media
Should I start tweeting?
50%yes
50%no
6 votes • Final results
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The only way to justify being an obnoxiously loud motorcycle guy is to play Truffle Butter 24/7 on a loop, and yet I’ve yet to see it done
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All my heroes are women
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“Now we’ve both been shot in the face” - Stormy Daniels
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They missed I’m pissed - a poem
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Fuck Time. Fuck the media.
TIME
@TIME28 Jun 2024
'Things are dark.' Democrats are panicking about Joe Biden's debate performance—and what will happen next ti.me/3VJ7g5h
TIME's new cover: Joe Biden's Debate Disaster

ALT TIME's new cover: Joe Biden's Debate Disaster

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Getting kind of jealous of the packages in my lobby. I might have to order something from Amazon just to return it
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Back off.
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The airport bar doesn’t start serving until 10am now? Worst birthday gift imaginable.
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I legit passed Steve Aoki on my way through the airport too. Kinda miffed he didn’t throw a cake in my face
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Can you get a subscription to whiskey? Asking for a friend
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Better get out your galoshes
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My schedule today #IWD
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It turns out you get out of things what you put into them… believe me, not my idea
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I’d make a great minor celebrity but a terrible major one
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I actually want to go to Haunted House more than I want to go to Aqua
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You fools, this isn’t even my final form
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I have an uncanny ability to keep finding more shit to buy
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You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.
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Someone come massage my glutes, they’re absolutely tender
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Part of the crew, part of the ship
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