onchain maxi || creator
Joined June 2022
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Helen Mirren says you only need to take a single puff during an entire two hour film to convince everyone you're a smoker.
Seth Meyers: Do you get a little nervous when, you know, there's a skill like that in a film that you have to make sure you look like somebody who does it all the time?
Helen Mirren: Yes, smoking. I don't smoke at all. So it's not very pleasant to have to do that. But I've discovered actually all you really need to do is have a lit cigarette in your hand, and just once in the whole two hours, you have to go... puffs And just once.
Seth Meyers: And I will say...
Helen Mirren: But only once. You do it once. And the rest of the time you just have a lit cigarette in your hand, and everybody will do the work for you.
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50 Cent said Jay-Z never dominated rap… Charlamagne just told Andrew Schulz that might be true on sales, but Hov’s still been the most culturally relevant artist since ’98.
Andrew Schulz: Was Jay-Z ever actually the biggest rapper of any era? He didn’t sell more than Eminem, he might not be as famous as Snoop, and he never had the number-one records like Ye or Drake.
Charlamagne: He didn’t sell more records than Eminem. He might not even be as famous as Snoop Dogg. He hasn’t had the number-one records like Ye or Drake.
But he’s been the most consistently culturally relevant artist since ’98. People wanted to dress like him. They wanted to rap like him. They wanted to talk like him. They wanted to drink what he was drinking. They wanted to drive what he was driving.
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Avan Jogia reveals that he almost got fired during season one of Victorious because he was just not good enough, explaining that old-school Hollywood shows would easily replace actors who weren't cutting it.
"Oh yeah, for just not being good. In real talk, they would do that, I had watched other one-off characters get replaced. It was old school, like that old Hollywood thing where you better pick up your lines. I'd come from doing drama and didn't understand the rhythm of the multicam medium."
"Hitting your mark is just music, it doesn't matter what you're coming with, it's just a laugh and they fall. It's all rhythm, whereas I was trying to do all this internal work. And it's like, you got to pick it up, man, louder and funnier."
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Jonah Hill kept calling Meryl Streep "the GOAT" all week, only to realize she had no idea what it meant and thought he was literally calling her a goat.
"Getting to work with Meryl, she's the GOAT, greatest of all time. So the whole week I'm saying, 'Working with Meryl's the best, she's the GOAT."
"Then today at a press conference she goes, 'Jonah's so comfortable with me, he's been calling me a goat all week.' Jennifer Lawrence had to explain to her that it stands for greatest of all time"
"Meryl wasn't even offended, she just thought I was calling her a goat. She's so cool. Shout out to the GOAT!"
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Chuck Lorre talks about how he wrote the legendary Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song, and how a graveyard shift in a budget studio, a chipmunk voice effect, and a band blowing off the gig accidentally birthed one of the most iconic pop culture anthems of all time.
"Me and Dennis Brown wrote that theme song in an afternoon, taking inspiration from Gilligan's Island because it tells you the entire story in the song."
"The producer, Fred Wolf, initially told me they had the band the Turtles to do the music, but a few months later, he called me and said, 'The Turtles blew it off. I got nothing. Can you?, you're still interested?' I went, 'Absolutely.'"
"With a budget of $2,500 to write and produce the theme song and score all six episodes, Dennis and I bought the cheapest studio time imaginable from 12:00 midnight to 8:00 a.m. using amps left over from the band Journey."
"We spent every penny we had on that graveyard shift, turned it in, and Fred said, 'Great. We're done.' And I went, 'Uh, this is a demo.' He goes, 'No, we're done.' I did the voices of the turtles by speeding up my voice like a chipmunk, and when I told him he'd bring in actors to replace me, he said, 'No, that's fine, don't worry about it."
"My kids were like, 'My father, we've arrived,' and it has continued to be something in kids' lives for the last 35 or more years."
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At 8 years old he was smoking weed, and by 12 he was hooked on heroin not because he wanted to rebel, but because he wanted to be just like his uncle
when you were still in LA, you had an uncle...
My uncle Gilbert. Yeah, and he introduced you to a lot of heavy stuff early on.
I guess uh at 8 years old he got you high on weed. Weed, yeah, we started with weed. Which, well at 8 that's kind of serious.
Well, smoking weed at 8 years old to me wasn't a huge deal, but then at 12 years old he introduced you to heroin. Okay, well, in his defense, I caught him shooting heroin and I just... I threatened to tell on him if he didn't give me some, you know what I mean?
So... because you have to understand that the way we grew up... I don't know how much time we got, but... I had a... My grandfather was a tyrant. It was a tyrant... He had like six boys and all the men in the family we were the baddest family in the valley just like tough, you know what I mean? And he ran them.
And I remember one time I was like... when I was just around about 12, and me and my uncle were standing there, and my grandfather was screaming at us, and I'm like... cuz I know he's going to hit me and I just... I almost ready to crap my pants, you know, I'm like squeezing so I won't, cuz I know he's going to hit me. And and I happen to glance over at my uncle, and my uncle is... is looking at death, death in the face, and he's like... Nodding off. He's nodding. Yeah. And I'm like, "Oh my god," you know, I'm thinking this is the baddest dude in the world, not this guy, this guy.
He's looking at death and nodding. And and I remember it's like my grandfather got so mad at my uncle going down like that that he went "Goddamn!" and he walked into his room, slammed the door. And I'm like looking at Gilbert, and Gilbert's and then Gilbert wakes up, "Hey, did he hit us?" Oh, I wanted to be just like that. Do you understand? I wanted to be just like that. And and you know, wow, when I seen him like that, I said "Give me some," you know? So you started shooting heroin at 12? Yeah, I shot heroin.
I didn't start shooting I shot it, and I knew that this was, wow, you know, cuz you don't... people always say, "How do you feel?" You don't. That's why you take whatever monsters you got going on, whatever inadequacies, whatever you you just don't... You know, but I didn't know that. I mean, who what did, you know, who cares? What, you know, at 8, what do I say, "Oh wow, this is really going to help me with my inadequate"? It doesn't. And 12 years old, I just I just knew that it... that there's a euphoria going, you know what I mean? And it's probably the worst thing that ever happened to me, but it ended up being the best.
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Shooting your shot with the Hot Priest on the red carpet
Graham Norton: You can be Andrew Scott, Hot Priest! Now, and you have you all you've all seen Fleabag.
Oh, yes.
Graham Norton: Now Lee, I know you're a big fan.
Lee Mack: I love Fleabag and I have not confessed this to my wife.
Graham Norton: Have you really not?
Lee Mack: I've generally not confessed it. She would kill me, but I feel like I should say because he's here and it's appropriate. I did the ultimate sin.
Graham Norton: Oh, okay.
Lee Mack: I got ahead without telling my wife off the box set.
Graham Norton: Oh.
Lee Mack: And I was pretending then when I was watching it that I hadn't seen it.
Lee Mack: And I even went to cuz we'd absolutely love that second series, but I was texting, she goes, "Why aren't you watching this?" And I even said, "Oh, it's not as good this series."
Lee Mack: Which wasn't true! Which wasn't true, but I had to say that's why I was texting, but actually I'd already seen it.
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Damon Wayans talks about the difference between Black and white celebrities having fun, and how he walked up to Will Ferrell at poker night and asked where the hoes at, unlike his Uncle Marlon, who brings hoes everywhere with him.
"That's when I realized the difference between how Black celebrities have fun and white celebrities have fun, back on the set of The Other Guys. Will Ferrell and Adam McKay had a weekend poker night in a nice hotel room with a dealer and an open bar, and they invited me."
"I remember showing up for the first time and it was Will, Adam, a couple other celebrities, and zero bitches."
"So I go up to Will and ask where the hoes at, and he says they're just going to play poker."
"I just wasn't used to it, you know? Because like, you know, Uncle Marlon. He got hoes everywhere. He bring hoes to the dentist. You know what I mean? Shout out to Marlon. That nigga die, he bring bitches to heaven."
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Rone: "Can you read or not, Randy?" / Randy Orton: "Of course I can fucking read." / Randy Orton: "I can't read."
Rone: Why is wrestling in the Olympics?
Randy Orton: I think it is in the Olympics, isn't it?
Rone: You're more of an entertainer. You like wearing your underwear to work?
Randy Orton: Never, never go white.
Rone: Is it true Vince McMahon drinks baby's blood to stay young?
Randy Orton: I think that is correct actually.
Rone: You've had success in Hell in a Cell. What advice would you give to the people who are currently incarcerated?
Randy Orton: No, we're talking about Hell in a Cell in the ring.
Rone: Can you give any inspiration, or you just want them to sit there and be bored?
Randy Orton: I guess get a book.
Rone: Can you read or not, Randy?
Randy Orton: Of course I can fucking read.
Rone: Just read this and prove it.
Randy Orton: I can't read.
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Will they even like the new me? Abby Wambach opens up about the terrifying fear of losing your friends after turning your life around
Alex Cooper: Do you feel like any of your teammates were kind of catching on? Cuz I know that there's a big secrecy element, but it only can last for so long. Like how do you think it impacted your relationships?
Abby Wambach: "Yeah, I definitely know that my teammates were worried about me. Um, one of them got the phone call that I got arrested from a friend and or a text, did you hear about Abby? And they thought that I died
Alex Cooper: "Oh, I didn't know that
Abby Wambach: "Yeah, and they they that was their first thought that Abby got in an accident or something happened. She's dead. Um, and I wasn't far off. Like I wasn't far off from that happening. It's actually super I'm very I feel very lucky that I'm still here.
Um, I think that they all and this is the problem of being a veteran and being the person that I was is I was kind of a senior captain. I think that there was this element of Abby's going to be fine. She'll take care of it. Um, and yeah, like it has it it definitely has changed a lot of my relationships and friendships from that time. Um, I had to create a whole different life for myself. I had to I had to save my life.
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Samuel L. Jackson on losing $70 million behind Harrison Ford at the box office and why he personally buys out movie theaters every opening weekend
Graham Norton: Samuel, you have recently lost your title as the highest grossing actor of all time.
Samuel L. Jackson: Yeah. I've been displaced.
Graham Norton: By?
Samuel L. Jackson: Harrison Ford again. I displaced him, he displaced me, but hey, it's only 70 mil. I got him covered in July. He's lucky I'm not in Captain America 3 now.
Graham Norton: Have you seen the new Star Wars?
Samuel L. Jackson: Yeah.
Graham Norton: Alright. Moving on, it would have been better with you in it.
Samuel L. Jackson: That, that's really, yeah. That's, that's, that's the bottom line. It'll be more popular, anyway.
Graham Norton: It couldn't be more popular.
Samuel L. Jackson: Yes, it could.
Graham Norton: I haven't seen it and I would have watched it if you were in it.
Samuel L. Jackson: Oh, see, right there, right there, yeah.
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We tend to think of ancient history as thousands of years of primitive struggle.
But Cleopatra lived closer in time to the launch of the iPhone than she did to the building of the Great Pyramid of Giza.
Time is a weird construct when you step back and look at the full picture.
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Paul Rudd talks about the pressure of playing Ant-Man, people laughing at his powers, and the constant fear of being Marvel’s weak link.
"There's pressure at every single move you're making in the Marvel world. You don't want to be the weak link."
"To take a character like Ant-Man, which very few people knew, people would ask me what he does and I'd say, 'He can shrink to the size of an ant, but retains strength, and can talk to ants.' People would laugh as you explain it."
"And it was me playing it, which is not the first guy people think of when it comes to playing a big superhero. I wanted to try and make a character that was kind of a regular person. There's pressure because these characters are important to many people. You want to treat them with respect and do the character a service."
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James McAvoy admitting his ultimate career dream is to exclusively play young versions of Patrick Stewart and how he almost made a Young Picard series
James McAvoy: Been looked at for a few things where they sort of availability check you and they kind of dangle it and they tease it. And you're like, "Oh my god, I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Woo, give me the script. Give me the script." And you never hear anything. That was Star Wars was one of one of those. I got availability checked from them years ago. And I was so excited.
Josh Horowitz: Yeah, you're a mild Star Wars fan, to say the least.
James McAvoy: Oh, my God. Star Trek, Star Wars, Star, everything, Star Fan, Last Starfighter, Star Maker, Star Gazer.
Josh Horowitz: Why have they not done Last Starfighter or remade it? Cuz like, that's a movie that's perfect for being remade.
James McAvoy: Why have they not done it? I mean, I'm not looking for an actual reason, but I'm asking myself. Why have they not done it? Say again.
Josh Horowitz: Last Starfighter, I think is like such a great concept.
James McAvoy: It's brilliant. It's brilliant. Yeah.
Josh Horowitz: Anyway, wait, so is this like Force Awakens time? Was that when the Star Wars...
James McAvoy: I can't remember. I can't remember. I think it was one of the spin-offs. I can't remember, one of the stand-alones. And they never told me what it was either. I mean, basically, if I took the call from my agent, I had to sign an NDA, you know what I mean? It was like just to speak to my agent about it. Um, but yeah, what was the other one? Stargazer? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mutiny on the Stargazer, that was a whole idea I had that I pitched the Star Trek people as well. And we nearly did it.
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Guillermo’s priceless response when Charlize Theron kissed him in front of all the soccer dads and they asked, 'Who's that?
Jimmy Kimmel: Thank you for having me. You are a real trooper for coming today because I know you went to the dentist and what did you have done at the dentist today?
Charlize Theron: I actually had a surgery yesterday and I had a tooth removed and I saw myself last night and I had I looked like uh yeah was not appropriate so I realized I had to go and get another tooth today.
Jimmy Kimmel: Oh, your toothless?
Charlize Theron: I went I got a I got a tooth in. I'm wearing all my tooth teeth for you tonight.
Jimmy Kimmel: Oh, that's nice of you to wear all your teeth.
Charlize Theron: Yeah, so I just figured I should do that.
Jimmy Kimmel: Are you injected with uh various painkillers?
Charlize Theron: No, I'm not so numb anymore, but I I feel a little like I had you know...
Jimmy Kimmel: The pain is coming back?
Charlize Theron: It's a little throby.
Jimmy Kimmel: Yeah.
Charlize Theron: Yeah.
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Mike Tyson says he had the best three years of his life in prison because he had peace, going from 285 to 215 pounds by running eight or nine miles and jumping in his room for four hours a night until he dented the concrete floor.
"I was doing the running, eight or nine miles around. And at night time I’d spend 4 hours just in my room jumping up step like this, sweating on the concrete floor, I actually put a dent in it with my feet! I went in at 285 pounds and came out at 218, 215."
"I had the best three years of my life in prison, because I had peace though."
"Over $30 million for one fight, that don't mean nothing when you don't have your peace, stability, and balance. You need your sanity to control and dictate any part of life."
"Because you know, God I always tell people, God punishes you by giving you everything you want to see if you can handle it. I didn't handle it well at the beginning. But I never gave up, I'm still trying now. I'm still learning, and I made mistakes."
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Anna Kendrick reveals her iconic Pitch Perfect cup song audition was supposed to be "I'm a Little Teacup" before accidentally becoming a Billboard Top 10 hit
"They needed to prove I could sing, so I used the cup song since I was dorky enough to learn it. They loved it and put it in the movie."
"Originally, Beca's audition song was supposed to be 'I'm a Little Teacup,' which made no sense. When the studio wanted to release the cup song as a single and make a music video, I thought it was completely embarrassing."
"Somehow, it climbed the charts into the Billboard top 10 while I was filming a tiny indie movie in a church basement, competing with Miley Cyrus and Macklemore."
"They did send me a platinum record, and that was pretty cool."