Tiger/Freak
Joined October 2025
- Tweets4.1K
- Following562
- Followers1K
- Likes46.2K
HowlingCalvin retweeted
The wife has been denying all my advances at sex lately and cooked me a bullshit crockpot dinner tonight so I been in the living room pelting her black son in the back of the head with peanut m&m's and muttering slurs at him
HowlingCalvin retweeted
This happened to me except it was cum on my sheets that my mom found while I was at school. It was my cum tho I did that shit.
When I was around fourteen my dad confronted me over a charge on the cable bill for some pay per view porno movie to which he naturally assumed I purchased. I don’t know if it was a glitch or something but I really did not order it. This thing is though I knew this was the case, as I tried to explain myself to my obviously dubious father even I kind of didn’t believe what I was saying, it felt like lying about the truth somehow
HowlingCalvin retweeted
"The Road" but instead of Appalachia they walk down route 66 and have a rootin' tootin' good time and everything is swell.
HowlingCalvin retweeted
When I first met my wife, she told me she was half Spanish. I thought, “Finally, payback for the Alamo.” Then she clarified she was Spanish from Spain. I thought, “Finally, payback for transporting THEM over here.”
1960s New Wave sci-fi novel written in total prose minimalism. Following a young man in a post-now wasteland who maintains a deeply unsettling, ritualistic worship of a massive stone monument from the ancient world, only for the final sentence to reveal it is Interstate 35.
HowlingCalvin retweeted
We STILL here, we STILL fucking, cuz u know u can’t keep a couple big backed wiggers down fo long befo we finna git back UP 💵🔥🙏🏻😫🔫
HowlingCalvin retweeted
If you’re not willing to put poop in your mouth and use your tounge to push it through your teeth to make string poop then don’t even talk about what an American is or isn’t.
HowlingCalvin retweeted
Sauntering into the bedroom after taking the One Chip Challenge, my woman sees the tears streaming down my cheeks. I tell her they're happy tears because I love her so much before putting her pussy through the nine circles of Hell.
HowlingCalvin retweeted
My therapist asked me to draw my ideal partner. I sketched with the brushwork of a Renaissance muralist: no wants, no opinions, no face that could hold eye contact. She suggested a houseplant. I had tried one. It died of neglect, which segued nicely into my next point about women
HowlingCalvin retweeted
NOW - Trump: "I've never studied the body of a man before. It's not my thing. Nothing wrong with it, of course. Nothing. I always proceeded by saying nothing wrong, but it's never been my thing, to be honest with you. But I looked at his ass. And then I looked at his legs. And I said, his ass is like, it's like a pile of muscle."
NOW - Trump: "I've never studied the body of a man before. It's not my thing. Nothing wrong with it, of course. Nothing. I always proceeded by saying nothing wrong, but it's never been my thing, to be honest with you. But I looked at his ass. And then I looked at his legs. And I said, his ass is like, it's like a pile of muscle."