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Inside a truck
Joined September 2008
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
in my SNL audition i would immediately do a t mobile ad so they know im ready
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
*this* is how you text someone who just had a baby
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
As I've said before, genuinely love that Shaq is like Krusty the Clown
If I missed your call, I’m probably in a cabin sitting by a warm fire, enjoying a giant box of pizza. why? because it’s Shaq-a-Roni season @PapaJohns
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
[explaining the health of my grandma to my family through tears] she’s one shot
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you ☝️. Then do a big spin attack
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Shaq: say goodbye to huge wireless bills with T-Mobile’s $45 monthly plan
Casey Anthony: and with T-Mobile’s best-in-class 5G coverage, you’ll stay connected wherever you go
Shaq: that’s right, Casey Anthony
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
“@realDonaldTrump: I would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and losers, on this special date, September 11th.”
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Do something that scares you every day.
If you do that, then each day, little by little, you will be scared. Every day will be scary, and your life will be very scary. 💫
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Really liked Hot Tub Time Machine...crazy storyline but you'll def laugh...watching a little family guy now. Just comedy 24/7
