@JPLFR80

help the dogs https://xitter.cf/t.co/E0c3vqvGWI

 🇧🇷
Joined October 2017
  • Tweets351K
  • Following6.5K
  • Followers54.9K
4.7KMedia
We told you to stop at 2012 - the mayans
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My fear for you is that you become content with boredom instead of correcting it.
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JP 🍍 retweeted
Deann@CarpeDeann1h
Saving my CVS receipts to use as toilet paper in the next apocalypse.
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BEAVE
@Beaveinflow58m
Why rush to the finish line when there’s perfectly good bush to beat around.
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Jay_bird 🪶@jeckaf4i1h
I don’t want a wedding ring—I just want sex in the middle of the night.
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I imagine Hell as me being on Twitter all day and the only person commenting on my tweets is my worst reply guy.
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michelle@chlorophormgirl21h
They’re making potholes on purpose so my boobs bounce
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If there was a world-wide underboob Olympics, everyone would win. EVERYONE!
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Crocs or 8 inch heels, there is no in between.
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Calling a shot for VisionQuest: the client is Arnin Zola, tho the foreshadowing is hinting at JIM Hammond
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Am I the horniest I've ever been in my life because I'm not having sex or am I not having sex because I may accidentally kill them, I'm so horny?
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The person that hurt you is not going to heal you.
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turns out he didn’t invite me over for cocktober the multiple people with crock pots should have been a clue
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Just me and my oversized tee shirt against the world.
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Someone should invent Door Dash for fingering me at the bar when I dont feel like going out.
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Things I noticed today. Part 33.
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I know exactly what you're doing when you bookmark my photos.
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My guilty pleasure is singing along to cheesy Duettes from the 80s 🎶
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Idris invited me to watch The Return of the King, but was snoring with his head on my lap even before Gandalf and Pippin got to Minas Tirith
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I told him Shadowfax was about to show him the meaning of haste. He just snored louder
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you asked what i'd do for you. i answered with fire.
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